Describing myself is a tough task because no one has a pretty good idea of himself. I’m very certain of my intentions but the talons of my actions go beyond my imaginations.
Ok, I’m not a narcissist but then no one believes that anyway :-(.
I’m a night-walker. I live and florish without the sun and the moon makes a wonderful companion. I write codes for a living at a shop (that should be a 22nd century mystery coz the honchos at work won’t allow me to say where) where I build web applications and let ColdFusion run all over the place like an over-creamed salad (daytime) and crawl the abyss of the city bowels (night). I have since grown old; after work, am tired and all I want to do is rest my weary body.
I got tired of working and decided to call it quits in September 2010. Ok, not actual quits but maybe something close to suspended animation. So I went off wearing suits and black ties for a year while I dug it out with a postgraduate in Engineering laced with Business Management at King’s College London. Think of it as an exotic cocktail of intellectual masochism. By the way, it’s not a poor man’s MBA. For the time being, my old colleagues can heave a sigh of relief while they decide if they should wish me God’s speed or good luck. The utter look of disappointment on the faces of my colleagues when I sauntered through the door the day I finished was priceless! Some even secretly wailed (I was listening through the wall). But who cares?
Now to more serious matters. I’m (or was) an Electrical Engineer (and a proud member of the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers) by training just that it’s so unfortunate that I have never earned a single cent making sparks. I don’t know whether it’s my apparent incompetence or my lack of interest; whichever it is, don’t expect me to come around fixing your light.
I’m also a mechanical engineer but not the type that fix broken down vehicles. I would rather have those towed away. In fact, I don’t even know if I could handle a spanner correctly and the last time I tried to use a screw driver, I ended up drilling a hole through my left palm.
Despite this, I still managed to become a Chartered Fellow of the British Computer Society in January 2010. Definitely there must have been something they saw in me that I never found in myself. Because of my restlessness and my natural propensity to get bored so easily, I find myself doing projects all the time (a good excuse not to stick with anything for too long). So I was advised to become a Project Management Professional and also get certified by Prince2. I’m still waiting to know what extra cash that could put into my pocket (PMP was a year ago and I haven’t seen a single extra cent!).
I got into the web business some 12 years back and it’s been fun all the way. A dude got me hooked on ColdFusion a long time ago so I missed the .NET and PHP trains. Too bad I guess. My area of specialty was is marrying CF with Active Directory Business Performance (one of the most boring jobs you could do). I also write codes that lift heavy chunks of data, look for something interesting in it and display it to end users (if you are in danger of losing your yearly bonus, you would know what I mean). In my world, we call that Business Intelligence and Data Warehousing. If you don’t know what that is, don’t ask me. But now, I’m an apostle of cashless economy. I preach to people that the fastest way to lose their hard earned cash is via electronic payments.
I got tired of the whole techy thing so I became a sales man – selling the convenience of payments while you lounge in bed. Sometimes I try to encourage others by mentoring careers and providing leadership to younger folks coming up.
Being techy doesn’t do justice to my definition. In fact the best way get a rise out of me is to call me label me as IT, nerd, geek or any of those random nonsensical words.
Here are some of the mirrors you could bounce my image against:
- I love innovations. Anything new is always thrilling. I think it’s because i get bored easily
- Psychology is a passion. Trust me to psychoanalyze you within 10 minutes of meeting you. If I don’t understand you, I call you mad. Hey don’t judge me, that is what shrinks call people they don’t understand. You can rate my skills on that considering that almost everyone I know is mad
- I like writing. I love easy flowing prose; like you are talking to a buddy albeit the last thing on my mind is winning a Pulitzer prize. Read The Economist, and you have a good grasp of the boring version of my style
- I like reading too. I read anything except inspirational books. Man, those guys are shafting readers; all they do is rehash over and over and over what we all know. May be a John Maxwell on a good day. The man is a pastor anyway, so may be I read his prayers. I buy books a lot, magazines, and read online. I think Malcolm Gladwell is the king of pop literature. I feel sad when I’m putting any of his books down. You can’t help but read and be amazed! However I think “What the dog saw” is a piece of dog c**p is nice but hard read
- I think people should think well before popping kids. The world is apparently too messed up now, why bring more people to share the messy-fest? A single child is enough to wet anyone’s baby craving
- Of recent, I have started running a clinic. That’s a joke. I have a strong interest in anything medical. I know I couldn’t have been a good doctor so I have made up for it by reading so much about medical stuff. I have an alternative life dream of medical engineering. My goal is to make small medical computer peripherals. Imagine coming to see a doctor who places a small wand on your wrist and he could download all your vitals into his laptop tell you how many days you have left.
If you think I will talk about my private life here, you must be joking.
Overtime, I have written some articles not classified as comments (*wink):
- Blackberry uptake in Nigeria. A market analysis for Business Day Nigeria. January 2010
- ColdFusion to the Rescue. ColdFusion Developer Journal (CFDJ) October 2006
- ColdFusion can save you big buck. ColdFusion Developer Journal (CFDJ) August 2006
- Leveraging on Active Directory for Users Administration and Security Profiling. ColdFusion Developer Journal (CFDJ) December 2005
DejiOlowe is suffering from a chronic case of gerascophobia.