Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Spot” I made the mistake of calling mine “Sex”.
Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said “I’d like to have one too!” Then I said “But this is for a dog.” He said “I don’t care what she looks like.” Then I said “You don’t understand, I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said “You must have been quite a kid.”
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said, “You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said, “Me too.”
One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began, Another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised, he called me a pervert.
I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said, “I’ve come for my dog.” She said, “Which one Spot or Rover?” I said, “What about Sex?” She slapped me. After I straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.
Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in all the cages the operator up to me. I said I’m looking for Sex. He said I was looking in all the wrong places.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said “Your Honor I had Sex before I was married.” He said “What’s your point, so did I.” I said “But my wife wants to take Sex away.” He said “That’s what happens in a divorce.”
Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all over town. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I said I was looking for Sex……. My case comes up Friday.