Galaxy S4 is Awesome. Yawn!

The S4 is the new kid on the block and it’s an absolutely fondle mobile. Think about it, it’s got every thingamajig on earth. 5-inch super amoled screen, a zippy new Samsung Exynos 5 or Qualcomm Snapdragon S4 Pro processor. The only thing it doesn’t do now is brew coffee.

It is amazing how quickly we have arrived at a point where a new phone doesn’t awesomely shock us anymore. The specs are converging, the laws of hand-held mechanics are getting to a point of breach.

Can someone remember when people drool over PC config (memory, hard disk, sound)? Those times have gone – nobody cares. Nobody ever comes around to check out the sexy new laptop you slugging around. Even the tablet life is reaching that point.

So, I guess by the time Galaxy reaches the S6, it wouldn’t make news anymore. unless maybe it could make coffee but then every Chinese knockoff would be making coffee too.

Nigeria has 17M Internet Users, More or Less

Some people have been throwing some fantastical numbers about Nigeria having 43 million internet users.

I really don’t know who cooked up this ultra-sloppy data but no wonder the over-creamed salad of consultancy advices smell like rancid skimmed milk.
If Nigeria has 43 million internet users then I probably have a pink elephant, with wings, prancing around my backyard.

So how many do we have? Judging from MTN’s latest financials (2012), they have 3.8 million smart devices (those that can consume internet without choking up – actually MTN is so parsimonious that not even a 12K US Robotics modem can choke on it) and 201,000 dongles. That comes to 4M internet devices (many being fondle-slabs). Since MTN has 47.5% market ownership, we can extrapolate 8.42M internet devices. If we are optimistic, can we argue that 2 people use a device (Nobody shares my phone with me though). Maybe 17M users. Far cry from 43M.

Why this 43M magical number is apparently not wrong to smart pant consultants baffles me.

Scientists Network Rat Brain. Coming to a Moron Near You

Surprising news this morning. Some mad scientists have been able to network two rats’ brains together. Awesome!

I guess it is a matter of years before that feature is available to the next moron near you. Or maybe if our leaders’ brains can be networked with decent leaders in other countries where things work. Fat chance.

Oh, by the way, the implications are far reaching. Imagine I need to solve a problem, I could tap into a network brain (Amazon Neural Mesh, say) and have the thoughts done and downloaded to my gray mush.

In fact, I could go on holiday while all my critical thoughts are handled by some badass brain somewhere.

Or if I’m out of job, I could rent my brain out for free. But considering some of the evil thoughts I run through every time, I doubt the quality of my output.

Wait, what if a brain freezes?

You think I made this up? Read it here..