The myth of work-life balance

I was at an event recently where we got to discussing the whole work-life balance conundrum. It was an interesting conversation because the panel at that event had a mix of business owners, founders, CEOs, etc. And then among the attendees, we had a very senior HR person, probably about 50 years old; so this person had had a lot of experience on the job. 

We all started talking about work-life balance, which seems to be a hot topic these days, especially with younger people, and it was fascinating to hear from people on both sides of the argument.

I agree.

Most professionals believe that work-life balance is being able to juggle work, personal life, and everything else you want to do—which is great, right? Because life isn’t just about focusing on one single thing. But, on the flip side, you have people like me who others believe are against the concept of work-life balance. 

To set the record straight, I’m not here to oppose the concept. In fact, I strongly believe in work-life balance but I just think we have different interpretations of what it means.

The most common picture of work-life balance is having a stable nine-to-five job, and making time for family, friends, and other interests outside of work. Work is often viewed simply as a means to an end, which is perfectly fine for many people. Not everyone wants to excel in every aspect of life.

However, for some of us, this traditional approach may not work. Why? Because in reality, if you’re ambitious and striving for outstanding success in what you do, trying to achieve the conventional work-life balance will never get you there. Anything that’s special literally has to be something that the average person can’t or won’t do. Success often requires going beyond the average and the inability or unwillingness to do that is why many people don’t succeed in their careers.

For instance, imagine you’re in school and your desire is to graduate with a First Class and get a scholarship for your Master’s degree. Naturally, you may need to sacrifice some ‘fun’ time to achieve your goals. If you attempt to ‘balance’ fun and academics like others, you might just end up with a second class upper, or even worse a “strong second class lower” as some people love to describe it. Of course, just say goodbye to your MSc/MBA scholarship aspirations. 

Similarly, in your career, if 100 of you are employed at the same time but you aspire to climb the corporate ladder quickly and earn an attractive salary, you can’t be thinking about work-life balance in this way because that gets you nowhere. If you put in only the same amount of effort others do or only ever satisfy just the minimum required e.g nobody is able to reach you when there’s an emergency at work simply because it’s the weekend; obviously, what you wish to achieve isn’t going to happen. 

I think everyone just needs to decide what they want. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting work-life balance, but it’s important to recognize and make peace with what you’d be giving up for it. Of course, there’s also nothing good about killing yourself over your work and missing out on important moments with the people or things you love. Everyone needs to decide what they want out of life and be prepared to make choices that align with those goals.

But if you’re fine with settling for average then yes, by all means, choose this approach to work-life balance.

I don’t agree.

When discussing whether work-life balance is all it’s made out to be, one of the most common questions people ask is, “What if you work so hard and you die suddenly and never get to enjoy the fruits of your labor?”  Honestly, it’s a valid concern and there’s a real risk because pushing yourself so hard without taking care of your health can indeed lead to serious consequences for you, including death.

But the twist here is that if you’re also poor and become faced with health issues, you may not be able to save yourself. 

The reality is, poor health and death doesn’t discriminate between the rich or poor. It comes for everyone.

Like I mentioned earlier, if you really desire to be very successful, you have to go the extra mile. There’s no debating that.  If many people are in competition for a particular thing or role, only the absolute best will get it. And this principle isn’t limited to corporate careers only; even in sports, only the best of the best make it to the top. It’s now on you to decide how much you’re willing to fight and sacrifice to stand out.

Think about it—if you want to be a top footballer or an Olympian, you can’t expect to achieve greatness through a simple work-life balance routine. When others are taking breaks or going to meet up with friends after training, you’ll need to stay and keep pushing yourself; expanding your limits.

What do you want out of life? 

If your ambition is to excel in your field, you can’t have work-life balance because that kind of success often demands relentless dedication and prioritizing your goals above all else.

So again, what do you want out of life?  And what and how much are you willing to sacrifice for it?

Take a moment to think about your answers to these questions and then you have your bigger answer on if work-life balance is for you.

Here’s what I believe work-life balance actually is

I know all this must be quite confusing because I mentioned I believe in work-life balance right? Yes, I absolutely do but let me clarify what I mean.  I believe that the real work-life (for those who wish to be successful) is about working now so you can balance later. This is the only approach to achieving success and fulfillment that makes sense to me.

The way I see it is that anyone who’s going anywhere in life needs to attack their goals with all of their mind in the present;  putting in the hard work, making sacrifices, and pushing to achieve greatness. And of course, when you get this success, it’ll allow you to be able to enjoy yourself and find balance.

For instance, imagine giving your all to reach the top of your career; becoming a senior executive, winning gold medals as an Olympian, becoming a world-renowned artist, or an award-winning video producer. It’s about giving your all to reach that level where your efforts pay off and you can enjoy the rewards.

Picture a life after years of relentless effort, when you finally reach a point where you can relax and coast through life, content and fulfilled. When this happens, you can truly say you’ve earned your rest because the benefits and compensation for your time, effort and sacrifices would have finally fallen into place.

The risk with aiming for conventional work-life balance which is to work now and also balance now is that if you’re not careful and you focus too much on enjoying leisure so early on, without laying a solid foundation for achievement, you might find yourself working well into your later years and you still might not get to a level where your earnings and everything else you’ve accumulated is enough to create value for you to be able to really rest when the time comes.

Why do you think you still see people still searching for jobs past age 55, struggling financially? Forget those whom life probably dealt a really bad hand and they lost everything. For many others, it’s probably because they were busy lying flat, prioritizing leisure over long-term success earlier in life, without adequate savings or enough accomplishments to sustain them.

So, for me, work-life balance has nothing to do with evenly dividing your time between work and personal life—it’s about strategically investing your time and effort now to secure a future where you can truly enjoy personal fulfillment in the long run.

That’s true balance.