Category: General

25 years ago……

A program was … a television show
An application was .. for employment
Windows were….. something u hated to clean
A cusor … used profanity
A keyboard was …a piano
Memory was….. something u lost with age
A CD was… a bank account
If u unzipped in public u went to jail
Compress was something u did to garbage
A hard drive was a long trip on the road
Log on was adding wood to fire
A backup happened to your toilet
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
Cut.. u did with scissors
paste.. u did with glue
A web was a spiders home
And a virus was the flu!!

.. Times surely have changed

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director, “What is the critera that defines a patient to be institutionalized?” “Well…” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, and offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask them to  empty the bathtub.”

1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?

“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would  choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“Noooooo,” answered the Director. “A normal person would pull the plug.”

My article on Active Directory integration has been published by the Coldfusion Developer Journal. You can read it here.

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory.  To entertain them the Major called for this HOT number from the nearby town.

She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad.  They clapped for 5 minutes.For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G strings.  This time the applause went for 10 minutes.

The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on.  The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.

For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked.  The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.

The Major asks her, “What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?”

She replied, “Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?!!?”

Divorcing After 45 Years An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, But I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what are you talking about,” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man said. “We’re sick and tired of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.” And he hangs up.Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck they’re getting a divorce,” she shouts. “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my broth! er back and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”