Lagos is doomed

Lagos is doomed and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

That seems a pretty harsh thing to say but hey what can I do about it?

I recently took a road trip between Abuja and Kaduna and was mesmerized with kilometers after kilometers of good road. I wished I had a grand tourer like Merc or BMW 5 Series Touring to tame that piece of asphalt. Not that there wasn’t any pot hole, in fact quite a few broke the innocence of that road but comparing that road to anything in Lagos is like comparing a decent girl with less than 5 guys on the register and a working girl from De Wallen.

Considering that the road has also suffered neglect from government, I figured out that it survived because it was never pillaged as much as Lagos roads by monster container trucks.

It seems I’m rambling. Now straight to the point.

Lagos is like a working class man who gets new cousins to live with him every time he gets promoted; he’s never gonna be successful.

Early in our democracy, Jagaban demonstrated a type of leadership not easily found around here. Although OBJ sat on Lagos federal allocation for 7 years, he raised internally generated revenue and ran this state successfully. Then poster boy Fashola took over and spent trillions on Lagos but what do we have to show for it? Next to nothing. Did they work? Yes they absolutely did.

So what happened?

Nigeria failed.

A recent stats from FRSC showed that 33% of all cars in Nigeria ply Lagos roads not considering that Lagos has the smallest landmass of all states in Nigeria.

#Trouble.

As Lagos became more secure, people showed up to hide from Boko Haram and kidnappers. When the environment became conducive for commerce, all new graduates skip to Lagos as soon as they are done with NYSC. Every company has its head office or a liaison office in Lagos. Practically everything imported into Nigeria, including the offending 41 items banned by CBN, come through Apapa ports.

Meanwhile the nation has been so sadistic to Lagos it makes waterboarding a trivial torture. While the ports bring everything in, they were neither upgraded or the road fixed. Ok, JB did a part but too small it’s of no consequence. The road to the MMA is so terrible that flying in and out of Nigeria is an exercise in depression. But then everyone, or almost everyone, must come to Lagos to fly out.

Traffic is so bad and depressing some people are giving up their homes to rent accommodations nearer their offices. And it won’t get better.

While I’m happy that Ambode has finally come around to fixing the security problems, I’m very well sure that no matter how successful he is, no matter how much he does better than Fashola, as long as the other states in Nigeria are failed or semi-failed, Lagos will never be the place we want it to be.
Olówó ní àrín àwon òtòsì…

Digital "Fluffy" Banking

Digital Banking seems to be the new buzz word these days. I love buzz words; they are necessary distractions in the agonizing world we live in.

But what’s digital banking? Nobody seems to know. Just like those mischievous boys in the bible – customer service we know, value for money we know but what the heck is digital banking?

A thousand definitions exist but basically everything points to a fancier electronic banking services.

Maybe people need to understand what we customers need.

We don’t need pretty names or fancy titles. We don’t care if you are a tier 1 or tier X bank. We don’t care if you are a boutique bank and cater for some fancy niche. We don’t think about innovation. We just want the damned services to work and you not to fleece us while at it. When things go wrong let us know. When our money is missing return it before we squeal. When we visit your branches or call, treat us like royalty.

You want to know what customers really want? Check here.

Damn it! Do you guys get it now? To hell with electronic and digital banking.
My bed has 3 wrong sides and just a good one, which incidentally is the side against the wall. I couldn’t get off from that good side this morning.

Goodbye Hard drives but I won’t miss you

I just read an article where experts said price of SSD will continue to fall. Sincerely that’s the most stupid statement I have read in months. It’s like saying the sun will rise tomorrow morning.

SSD, which is an acronym for Solid State Drive, is basically a bigger USB drive shoehorned into the size of hard disks so they can fit into the same compartment. It’s a means of deceiving computers that they are HDDs but just magically faster. You can read more about SSD here.

I use a Dell Latitude E6540 and a MacBook Pro (which has refused to leave its original packing, tear nylon!). The Dell is one dog of a laptop. It’s big, ugly, heavy and very slow. I was almost gearing to use it as a self-defense tool when I finally got an epiphany that maybe the hard drive may be begging to retire. So I got a Samsung (or was it San Disk) SSD and plopped it in. Whoa, never seen such a transformation. Oh, yes, it’s still big, ugly as sin and very heavy but slow isn’t a word to describe it. After all, a pig with a lipstick is still a pig, albeit a pretty one.

Enough of my katzenjammer!

I have become an unrepentant evangelist of SSDs. I now approve it as replacement drives for my colleagues because, ding dong, it’s affordable. At the last check, a 240GB SSD cost around N35K.

Now for those who have some interest in electronics, trended over a period of time, the price of devices is always inversely proportional to the performance. If this law holds true, SSD will get cheaper and cheaper until it finally supplants hard drives. I have watched this trend for a while and if things go at the rate it’s going, then by 2018, hard drives may become what people do – drive hard!
However other schools of thought think that SSD may never catch up with HDDs in performance but I know that as long as the price is reasonable, the performance of SSD will always bitch slap HDDs any day or time.

So far the consumer SSDs have been coming in the HDD form factor but why should it? New computers are going on sale with SSDs soldered directly on the motherboards which is giving rise to skinnier and sexier laptops.
And it doesn’t stop there.

The IDE and SATA interfaces are hogs, slow and annoying. A prehistoric interface protocol. So guys at FusionIO turned everything on its head – they started putting storage on the PCIe bus, right within server innards. The benefit is that the processor can reach the drive as fast as it could reach the memory. The devices are not for small children though – a typical 2.4Tb bundle will set you back about $28,000. With that kind of price, I will rather save my documents within 2B exercise books.

Back to saner shores.

SSD can transform performance of anyone. It could mean the difference between a good day or a bad one. So let’s do it!

WhatsApp will eat MTN’s dinner

I visited WhatsApp, a close friend, last weekend and I saw him preparing for a large party but the interesting bit’s that he’s gonna serve MTN’s dinner to his other many friends.

Ok, that’s some unwitty joke but hey, I hope you caught the drift.
Some events over the last few months have shown me that the next 2 years may be quite scary for MTN and its colleagues. When you are making $2.6B profit a year, you may feel like part of the Greek gods just don’t forget Nokia and Blackberry.

International Calls Made Easy with WhatsApp

I get to do some travels once in a while. Roaming your phone can be a dog of an activity as it could be so expensive. Before you call me cheap, just imagine what N80 per SMS in Ethiopia means to someone who has never been a minister of petroleum. Rebtel has been a good companion over the years but sometimes the call quality can be very bad. At first I thought maybe because it’s VOIP but then calls to other countries were clear and never cut off. Apparently it seems our Telcos route their roaming calls through some Pentium PCs. You can’t be too sure of these things. My visit to some roaming-charge-friendly countries finally convinced me that our Telcos are rats.
Then WhatsApp call came along.

I didn’t know how good it was until when someone called me on it and I forgot that it was a WhatsApp call. It was clear and best of all free! Nowadays it has become my default calling mode whenever I hop on a metal bird out of the madness of Lasgidi

Local Calls Made Easy with WhatsApp

One of my annoying colleagues has an annoying habit of calling me annoyingly on WhatsApp. Until, wait, the calls are clear! I mean as bad as the Nigeria data network is, the calls are as clear as normal calls and best part, absolutely free!

The Hungry Future

  • What if the WhatsApp call catches on like Blackberry in Nigeria and everyone defaults to it?
  • What if WhatsApp creates a local gateway that allows termination of normal voice calls?
  • What if MTN’s voice income bottoms out?

Some Annoying Things about WhatsApp

Back to your desks, brethren!
 

Para-addiction is the excuse for my love handles!

Addiction kills. Slower than a speeding bullet but not less painful.
I usually talk about tech, science and other random financial stuff but then I’m free to rant about anything I want, don’t i?

So here’s the gist for today – I’m looking for a very good excuse for not hitting the gym or scorching the jogging trail. I have tried to cajole myself, bought running gears, etc. But after few attempts, I simply discard my feeble efforts and move on. I have run out of excuses but trust Íjésá man like me, I need to pin this on someone or something. Whatever!

Am I undisciplined? Maybe not: I start my meetings like clockwork; stick to proper routines; some habit are even like rituals but still I still can’t break the exercise jinx.

The sad thing is I know that exercising is good for everyone and especially for me. Fitness is very important for good health; I’m constantly embarrassed how I puff like a Volkswagen diesel car every time I run up the stairs to do my daily ward round. My colleagues must be ashamed of me.

Fitness aside, exercising tones the body; nothing beats a flat tummy. Except maybe 6 packs but then that’s even asking for too much at this age of mine.
I guess quite a lot of us can identify with my personal demon but is this unique to exercising? Probably not. It seems almost every good thing we need to do always require so much stress and it’s never easy – getting to work on time, reading for exams, self-development, saying no to Coldstone ice cream, etc. We know they are good, even necessary to keep us alive but then we can’t just do them or keep at them.

This sounds familiar! Anyone who’s read or dealt with addiction knows how tough it’s to get off a bad case. In fact some addictions are so bad that they are physiological; if you stop using the drug you probably gonna fall down and die. Ok, not that dramatically but you are gonna die painfully.
By the way, we shouldn’t confuse addiction with OCD. You can read about the differences here, here and here.

So it got me thinking that maybe the portion of the brain that gets messed up (the reward system) when you get on an addiction train could also be responsible for you not doing what you need to do. It sounds stupid but then electrons and positrons are stupid too.

In fact, the following is a direct quote from Harvard help guide:

In the 1930s, when researchers first began to investigate what caused addictive behavior, they believed that people who developed addictions were somehow morally flawed or lacking in willpower. Overcoming addiction, they thought, involved punishing miscreants or, alternately, encouraging them to muster the will to break a habit.

Many of my friends and family have pushed me, threatened me (that doesn’t work) or enticed me to pick up one or two good habits but it just never works. I subsequently get labeled as difficult or proud. One of my sisters once called me a peacock even though I only wear white shirts and black ties all because I wouldn’t do what she “rightly” suggested.
This is something I have interest in and may read more scientific papers. Trust me, some mad hat scientist may have figured this out. But for the time being, let’s call the name para-addiction and I can at least satisfy the itch to write something today.