Nasty Sex

Everybody who has a dog calls him “Rover” or “Spot” I made the mistake of calling mine “Sex”.

Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said “I’d like to have one too!” Then I said “But this is for a dog.” He said “I don’t care what she looks like.” Then I said “You don’t understand, I’ve had Sex since I was nine years old.” He said “You must have been quite a kid.”When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. Not wanting the dog to bother us, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and I and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the place was for sex. I said “You don’t understand, Sex keeps me awake at night.” The clerk said “Me too.”

One day I entered Sex in a dog show, before the competition began, Another contestant asked me what I was doing. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the show. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. When I asked if the show was televised he called me a pervert.

I left my dog at the Veterinarian. When I went to pick him up I said “I’ve come for my dog.” She said “Which one Spot or Rover?” I said “What about Sex?” She slapped me. After I straightened out the misunderstanding, I asked if Sex was good for her. She slapped me again.

Sex ran away, I went to the dog pound. As I was looking in all the cages the operator up to me. I said I’m looking for Sex. He said I was looking in all the wrong places.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said “Your Honor I had Sex before I was married.” He said “What’s your point, so did I.” I said “But my wife wants to take Sex away.” He said “That’s what happens in a divorce.”

Last night Sex ran off. I spent hours looking for him all over town. A cop came over to me and asked, “What are you doing in this alley at 4 o’clock in the morning?” I said I was looking for Sex……. My case comes up Friday

Author: dejiolowe

Adédèjì is the founder of Lendsqr, the loan infrastructure fintech powering lenders at scale. Before this, he led Trium Limited, the corporate VC of the Coronation Group, which invested in Woven Finance, Sparkle Bank, Clane, and L1ght, amongst others. He has almost two decades of banking experience, including stints as the Divisional Head of Electronic Banking at Fidelity Bank Plc. He drove the turnaround of the bank’s digital business. He was previously responsible for United Bank for Africa Group’s payment card business across 19 countries. Alongside other industry veterans, he founded Open Banking Nigeria, the nonprofit driving the development and adoption of a common API standard for the Nigerian financial industry. Beyond open APIs, Adédèjì works deeply within the fintech ecosystem; he’s the board chairman at Paystack. Adédèjì is a renowned fintech pundit and has been blogging on technology and payments at dejiolowe.com since 2001.

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