Month: November 2005

As Pope John Paul II was dying; he sent for Tafa Balogun and Dipereye to come to the Vatican.When they arrived, they were ushered to his bedroom. As they entered, the clergyman held out his hands and motioned them to sit on each side
of the bed.

The Pope grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling.

For a time, no one said anything. Both Tafa and Dipereye were touched and flattered that the old Pope would ask them to be with him during his final moment.

They were also puzzled because the Pope never gave any indication that he liked either one of them. Finally, Tafa asked,

“Father, what for did you ask the two of us to come ‘here?”

The old Pope mustered up some strength & said weakly,

“Jesus died between two thieves, I will like to die like him”

My article on Active Directory integration has been published by the Coldfusion Developer Journal. You can read it here.

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory.  To entertain them the Major called for this HOT number from the nearby town.

She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad.  They clapped for 5 minutes.For her second number she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G strings.  This time the applause went for 10 minutes.

The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on.  The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale.

For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked.  The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage.

The Major asks her, “What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?”

She replied, “Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?!!?”

Divorcing After 45 Years An old man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, “I hate to ruin your day, But I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.” “Pop, what are you talking about,” the son screams. “We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old man said. “We’re sick and tired of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.” And he hangs up.Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, “Like heck they’re getting a divorce,” she shouts. “I’ll take care of this.”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my broth! er back and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “They’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth. He takes the note and it reads “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please”. The dog has money in its mouth, as well. The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he  takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in  the dog’s mouth.The butcher is so impressed, and since it’s about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts  down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently,  bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the  road, with he butcher following him all the way. The dog then comes to  a  bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as  the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it.

The butcher follows the dog into the bus. Then the dog shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver’s seat looking outside waiting for the bus stop to come. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop. It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door.

As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him.

The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy. “What in heaven’s name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for  the life of me!” to which the guy responds: “You call this clever? This  is the second time this week that this stupid dog’s forgotten his key.”

Moral of the story: You may continue to exceed onlooker’s expectations but shall always fall  short of the boss’ expectations. It’s dog’s life after all………