Do you ever wonder . . .

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Why “abbreviated” is such a long word?

Why doctors call what they do “practice”?And…

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on “Start”?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?

Why – don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Marriage According to Nairaland

I was chatting with one of the few friends I made on Nairaland (before I left) yesterday and she told me she was getting married. Well, getting married is one of those things that have happened to all my friends. But this is different. She told she’s hooking up with one of the dudes she met there.

What is tripping me is that I never knew this kind of stuff really happens. I have seen stories like that on the net but I used to think they are hypes and falsies.

To cap it all, she said despite the fact that Nairaland is somehow messed up, she was still able to find love. If a messed up place can get you love, maybe it ain’t all that messed up after all.

I wish my friend a happy married internet life.

ColdFire: Another Ray Effort

Ray Camden just announced a FireBug extension for debugging CF applications, ColdFire. It should make life easy for everyone except me. Why? Because somehow, I never use Firefox (which is my one and only browser) to work with CF applications.

The reason is simple: I usually write only enterprise applications and Firefox is unfortunately a mile from conquering the enterprise space.

A workaround for the 1000 row limitation on Active Directory Interface

While working on a simple system that would allow using Microsoft Word to mail merge documents to users on the network, I bumped into the proverbial 1000 row limitation imposed by the Active Directory interface.

My fancy solution involves creating a view out of a query which links SQL server to the Active Directory using linked server. Creating a linked server is another story entirely. Numerous tutorials exist on the Internet that show how to interlink all manners of data sources to Microsoft SQL Server.

Now, back to the issue at hand, the view in question shows only 1000 rows and in the organization where the solution is to be used, there are well over 2000 users on the Active Directory. Trolling the internet didn’t bring a respite as most workarounds required very long VB codes that are a mile from being elegant.

At the end of the day, I used a brute force; wrote a series of queries and union them together:

CREATE view ADInterface asselect * from openquery (
ADSI,’SELECT displayname,samaccountname,mail,employeeID
FROM ”LDAP://cve-hq-s001.dejiolowe.com”
WHERE objectCategory = ”Person” AND objectClass = ”user” AND employeeID > 0000 and employeeID<3000′)
union
select * from openquery (
ADSI,’SELECT displayname,samaccountname,mail,employeeID
FROM ”LDAP://cve-hq-s001.dejiolowe.com”
WHERE objectCategory = ”Person” AND objectClass = ”user” AND employeeID > 3001 and employeeID<4500′)
union
select * from openquery (
ADSI,’SELECT displayname,samaccountname,mail,employeeID
FROM ”LDAP://cve-hq-s001.dejiolowe.com”
WHERE objectCategory = ”Person” AND objectClass = ”user” AND employeeID > 4501 and employeeID<5500′)