Micro-lending, or lack of it, didn't kill Financial Inclusion

My recent rant on what’s making mincemeat out of financial inclusion in Nigeria generated quite a bit of talk within my little circle of friends. Some thought I must have mistakenly installed someone’s mind while looking for my lost one. A pitiful few others felt it made some sense, which is something that’s rarely said about me.

Along the line, I read somewhere that lack of micro-lending killed financial inclusion and that because there is easy credit in places like Kenya, financial inclusion bloomed.

I fell off my chair and almost cracked my skull. A tile broke instead (Agbari Ojukwu!).

I think it’s time we laid it out clearly for some of my fancy armchair consultants, financial inclusion + mobile money software purveyors and self-styled rich-do gooders.

Micro-lending and other types of consumer lending haven’t worked in Nigeria because if a bank ain’t sure money would come back home, she ain’t lending it. If you ever spent 2 minutes working in a bank, that’s the second thing you are gonna be taught. The first lesson? Always get to work on time!

For those who ever made a mistake of transferring money to wrong accounts, the lucky account holders always clean out before Bart Simpson could blink. Give a loan to someone without proper ID or means to punish, you will never see his dirty backside again.

Nigeria is a special country where only fools hand out kishi without a guarantee of getting them back. Bankers are not the smartest but not fools either.

Who doesn’t want to do micro-lending? Bankers can smell money better than sharks could smell blood. The margins are simply better; fewer concessions; shorter terms with more rollovers. I can smell heaven and bonuses! But without a means of scaring bejesus out of erring borrowers, when there’s need to do that, nobody’s gonna play dice.

Because of this, banks, CBN and hapless staff of the banks came together to do the BVN which is a biometric identification that’s unique across the financial estate in Nigeria. They want to ensure that even if you take money and skip from paying, you will be permanently locked out of banking until you pay back, do penance, both or just die (whichever comes earliest).

Some people have called this the sign of the beast and I think there is an element of truth in that. Calling it The Financial Beast would be more appropriate: It bites your backside when you misbehave, financially.

The Banks spent about $55M putting this contraption in place – if they weren’t serious about KYC and financial inclusion (really?) they wouldn’t have done it.
Which comes to the lack of ease of account opening because of KYC. Frankly it is a chicken and egg problem.

Accounts are very easy to open in most Nigerian banks as long as you have a passport photograph, barely legibly filled account opening form, a government ID and proof of address such as original utility bill – it doesn’t even have to be in your name. What else can we ask for?

But original ID is hard to come by and the average banker trust most IDs less than they trust New Year prediction by new age prophets. The ease at which you can invent an ID would make Photoshop software makers proud of themselves. Most IDs are non-verifiable which lead to the previously discussed BVN.

Does the BVN make a good man out of everyone? Maybe not but the punishment for lying is eternal damnation in the pit of financial exclusion. Too bad, you are probably stuck with your ten fingers and their wobbly prints unless you take some drastic actions.

So, some people will lie to get their BVN but how they will unlie when they need other documentations and accounts in the future, is something I’m sitting on my chair, sipping Pina Colada, waiting for.

I’m still rubbing my sore head.

Where are the killer apps?

So many things don’t work in Nigeria – too many to count. But one thing, I mean absolutely one thing, that Nigeria or Nigerians are at par with the world would be phones.

We just love the damned mobs.

But that’s not the end of it; the real McCoy is the smartphone.
At first only the middle class, the rich guys and the Yahoo boys got smartphones. Then girls discovered Blackberry and I don’t even know which is worse – Eve eating the forbidden fruit or girls chatting on Blackberries. Even a movie was made about that shitty stuff. Anyway, Blackberry committed suicide and folks moved on to Android and sometimes iPhone.

This’ where it’s started getting interesting.
The thing about Android + Google is, they ain’t elitist. While the big boys dumped Blackberry for Apple, unfortunately there ain’t no iMobile for poor folks, Chinese guys came along and practically drowned everyone with knockoffs that’s affordable. So here we are, everyone I know has a smartphone.  Even my old driver threatened me on Facebook using his smartphone (the phone is probably smarter).

So what’s the big deal?

It’s a big deal people! We could really have the next payment revolution on those damned things. (Never trust a banker, they never think beyond money, that includes me).

But frankly, payment aside, where’s the killer app? Today all I hear is Facebook, Twitter and Linda Ikeji. Where’s that Nigerian app that’s gonna put us on the world map?

The phones ‘re there. The internet is somehow there. The eye balls are there. And then nothing!

The thing with killer apps is that you can’t will them to life. They just have to happen but can’t find out why it isn’t happening in Nigeria. Where is our TenCent? Our WhatsApp? Our PayPal or Square? I have seen guys try though but it ain’t just happening. Tsaboin did traffic app but no dice. Some other random dude did a JaiyeJaiye club app, but the alcohol haze hasn’t provided the required lift.

You know the sad thing is even the big companies like banks and telcos can’t see nothing. No bank has gone big on mobile; their websites are not even designed to work on phones even though nobody sits (save for unfortunate office workers) all day using desktop to do stuff. To get a bank Mobile App on your phone, you probably need heavens to detail an Angel escort to help.

I’m waiting for that proud moment when a Nigerian is going to build some random app that do some random useful thing or things and be used by 400M random people in many random countries with 100M of those random people in 774 random local governments in Nigeria.

Is it going to happen? Maybe, maybe not. All I can do is cross my spindly legs and wait it out.

Instant Recharge Tracker

Only an idiot would trust a banker. Rumor has it that while the cockroach would be the last to exist after Armageddon, the bankers would be the second to the last.

The smell of easy money, when the economy is tight and Naira is testing out a new parachute, is hard to resist. I’m not a prophet but I predicted this some months ago that by year end, only a few banks won’t offer xyzAmount# service.
Instant airtime recharge is the new kid on the block for banks and it’s simply amazing for the average Joe on the street. If your nail is cropped short like mine or bedeviled with fungi like my cousin’s, then not having to scratch a recharge card anymore is a dream come through.

So, with mobile money short codes deployed to more salubrious usage, I can at least give a rundown of what the money men are up to.

BankCodePartner
Access Bank*901*Amount#Clickatell
CitibankCorporate customers. No interest, I guess 
Diamond BankProbably in the works 
Ecobank*326*Amount#Clickatell
Fidelity Bank*770*Amount#InterSwitch
First Bank of Nigeria*894*Amount#InterSwitch
First City Monument Bank*389*214*1*Amount# (Seriously?) 
FSDH Merchant BankProbably not interested 
Guaranty Trust Bank*773*Amount#Clickatell
Heritage Bank*322*030*Amount#InterSwitch
Keystone Bank*322*082*Amount#InterSwitch
Rand Merchant BankMerchant bank – probably no interest 
Skye Bank  
Stanbic IBTC Bank*909*Amount#Clickatell
Standard Chartered BankEhm.. 
Sterling Bank *822*Amount# Clickatell
Union BankDefinitely something cooking 
United Bank for AfricaDefinitely something cooking 
Unity Bank *322*215*Amount# InterSwitch
Wema Bank*322*035*Amount#InterSwitch
Zenith Bank*966*Amount#Cyberspace

Rumor has it that the money is good, and I know at least 2 banks doing over N500M a month. In fact, one of them has strolled beyond N1B in airtime sales a month. Typical margin is a neighborhood of 5%+/-.

Feedback has been positive but the major sand in the Garri of this has been network performance – customer getting debited but airtime doing what Buhari is doing with ministerial nominations. MTN, being the largest telco, probably didn’t see this coming and so every time their service has a problem, which is like every minute, something goes wrong and customers reach for their machetes. Another annoying fact is you need to have a minimum of N12 to be able to do airtime on MTN although some banks are offsetting that money for customers.

What’s killing financial inclusion in Nigeria?

Financial inclusion in Nigeria falls short because products lack accessibility and affordability, ignoring basic needs like free transactions. Understanding the needs of the poor is key to an effective design.

No scholar worth his salt would denigrate his study in the first line, or on any other line for that matter. However, listen carefully, take what I’m going to say below with a pinch of salt as it’s based on armchair projections.

But then who cares?

We are quite a lot in Nigeria, or so says the official and derivative stats. I really don’t buy into the numbers but then nobody gives two flying horse legs about my opinions. With about 180 million hungry souls crammed within the national border, only about 30 million accounts are there in the 20+ odd banks.

Considering that nobody in Nigeria is faithful to anything, especially to their banks, I know finding unique bank customers could slash the numbers down to about 20M. Just a hunch, don’t quote this for your PhD!

The Central Bank of Nigeria, other NGOs and do-good money bags have tried all they could with financial inclusion but it ain’t just hitting that sweet spot. Banks were corralled into the deal, and we came up with Prepaid Cards and Mobile Wallets. Both had as much success as the Zepellin.

On a quiet Sunday morning, after the rain has done about 3 rounds, much more than middle-aged men can cope with these days, I thought about what could have made all the efforts, the bankers, the CBN, flounder like a pricked balloon.

It was just simple. Financial inclusion designed by rich bankers and their friends in Brioni suits just don’t work.

Why? Because financial inclusion products should be accessible and affordable. Unfortunately, they are not.

This is best underscored by a recent conversation I had with one of my banker friends designing a saving product where artisans and others can pay N100 a day to save about N1,000 using their phones. I was like, what the F? I wouldn’t even do that on a regular account!

Which brings us to why the fancy financial inclusion schemes never work. Most were designed with absolutely no idea of what poor people want. But then ain’t difficult to find out, they want basic and affordable financial products.

They want free cash in/cash out.

They want free balance inquiry.

They want free bill payments.

They really don’t give two rats’ legs about cost of transaction.

Oh my, they don’t keep money in balances because like we all know, you can only save when you can afford to. When you live off less than $1 a day, which 70% of us are anyway (who did the enumeration?) you can’t afford to save. When you earn less than N50K a month and you have mouths hungrier than young birds to feed, you can’t save.

So dear banker, if the poor can’t save, there isn’t going to be any float.

If you don’t get any of these above, you can’t design products for poor people, bottom of the pyramid or financial inclusion.

This isn’t Davos, so get off your high horse dude!

Short scalpel cut to immortality

I’m assured of immortality.

Ok, if you think my religious inclination has changed, maybe not that fast but then why die, hoping for heaven when I can simply stroll over to the General Hospital Ikeja and get a body swap?

And when I have used that up, I can come back for another as long as I don’t get a bullet in the head.

So says the mad doctor who is going to do a full head transplant in 2017. And not just him, he’s got about 100 assistants for the macabre project.
Hey, before you call him mad, think about how much furor was raised, especially by some religions aunties of mine, when test tube babes were first marinated (or how do you describe the process) in 1978? Today almost all my nieces and nephews are born that way. OK, that was a joke.
What Canavaro, the name of the evil doctor J, is doing is to help some random dude, with untreatable muscle wasting disease, get a new stab at life but the implications are far reaching.

I can’t imagine Mugabe hanging around for another 50 years. Or Putin? Or? Now things look scary doesn’t it?

Just a thought, if my body is old, along with my head and then I get a new body, how about the head? Some shriveled round thing with clammy leather hanging and bobbing perilously on top of a body with six packs? Or could Canavaro just improve his methods so only the brain is transplanted? How do I feel waking up the next morning in a body with tattoos?

If the brain alone is transplantable, would it be the whole stuff, or just my memories? What if some bits of the brain is already worn out from age – Alzheimer and other random gerontological malaises?

Wait, what makes me me? My thoughts? My memories? My one pack? Definitely not!

Could this get less invasive and just a thin slice of brain is transferred? If that’s it, what about if we developed a process to transfer my thoughts and sentience from my body to another? What if I could do a transcendence from my body into a thought machine?

I’m getting confused and it’s a Friday evening. Time I went home before my sanity is sold on OLX.