10 predictions for digital payments in 2024

A lot is going to happen in 2024, but do you want to know what they would be?

I have been making annual fintech predictions for so long that I should be a certified babalawo by now. Unfortunately, most of these predictions never come to pass. 

Interestingly, some of these predictions have been on point such as a major player getting acquired; Payments Services banks flopping; CBN cashless policy failing; rise of agency banking; eNaira eating dust; etc. 

Many have also stubbornly refused to come true; rendering me a digital Nostradamus. Visa refused to buy Interswitch and Mastercard refused to buy Etranzact; transfers never became free

But then missing the point is what predictions are all about; getting excited about things we don’t know and probably won’t happen. 

In the grand scheme of things, to err is human and to predict, is human as well. Let’s see what 2024 has got in stock.

#1 Crypto gets banned again

The Central Bank of Nigeria recently unbanned crypto and everyone threw a party. But we keep forgetting why they got banned in the first place. Truth is crypto doesn’t offer much value beyond the ability to move tons of money around without governance which tends to attract the wrong sort of crowd. 

Once this gets abused again, and it will definitely be; a new ban would land and this could be permanent or the requirements so stringent that it’s a technical ban.

#2 Nigerian banks screws up cNGN stablecoin

In unbanning crypto, the Central Bank of Nigeria also said that banks could have stablecoins. I laughed in Ijesha. Is it the same banks that can’t handle simple fraud issues; get QR to work on their apps; and keep their best hands;  that would build and run stable coins? 

Sure, CEOs would drag their helpless CTOs to try something out but they will all fail spectacularly.💣

Nigeria banking and crypto are like oil and water; everyone should just stay in their lanes.

#3 Direct debit comes of age 

Cards ruled the payments world for decades. Then faster payments came along. In Nigeria, interbank transfers beat the hell out of cards. But cards still rule the internet and subscription payments like an aging African dictator. 

Maybe not for long; NIBSS, Paystack, OnePipe, Mono, and Lendsqr (yes, let me throw that in) have been hard at work making direct debit sexy and it’s probably going to explode. 

Direct debit is going to be the fastest growing payment method since virtual accounts.

#4 Interbank crosses 20 billion transfers in a year 

When you do a transfer and the money appears in your recipient’s bank account in seconds, it’s probably the guys at NIBSS doing magic. Transferring money has been growing faster and faster each year since 2011. 

In 2023, Nigerians sent more money through NIBSS in a day than they did in the whole of 2015. That’s over 365x. 

The ease of transfer is so unprecedented that maybe this is the year that 20 billion alerts will ring across the network.

#5 Open Banking goes live 

We have been at this for too long. By June 1, it would be 7 years since I have been shilling open banking across Nigeria and Africa like a snake oil salesman. This time around, I am not predicting, I’m begging the gods of whatever to just let this go live so I can focus on other things. I’m not young again.

#6 Banks and Fintech crack on fraud

The Nigerian payments space is now synonymous with fraud. In 2023, over N14b was tracked to have been lost with many pundits privately saying this was grossly underreported. However, different stakeholders from FintechNGR CEO Committee (I’m a member), to the Central Bank of Nigeria, and even NIBSS, are all planning an all-out offensive against fraud. 

You can’t understand how painful fraud is until you have lost money or your entire career upended because of fraud. The worst that can happen isn’t just to lose money, but to spend months in detention for a fraud you don’t know anything about.

#7 Agency banking evolves

Agency banking was one of the fastest growing fintech segments for about 4 years and that led to the rise of Moniepoint, Nomba, and MTN Momo. But the market is getting saturated; margins are thinning out; and agent loyalty is now as rare as a unicorn riding a Yeti. 

But knowing the smart guys around payments, trust them to build more values on top of the agency ecosystem. What could this be? Delivery; address verification; last-mile lending; returns drop-offs; etc. Whatever brings extra is god-send.

#8 A major player gets acquired

With the Nigerian economy so badly hit and the Naira falling faster than a meteor; valuation of Nigerian fintechs have taken such a bad hit that most can’t even afford to do a raise as it would be at a significant valuation discount. Yet, most of those who haven’t died are doing a good job. 

It means those alive are now cheap as hell to buy; with cash runways now measured in days and weeks; it’s a matter of time a good one with solid fundamentals is snapped up. 

#9 More fintechs bite the dust

The funding winter has proven to be long, harsh, and deadly. Every month we get inundated with burial ceremonies of one fintech or the other. Unfortunately, the funding pandemic may last longer and even more startups will die in the early part of the year than ever before. And it’s simply because most are running out of gas and funding conversations are not funny.

But for startups who manage to stay alive, expect glory from 2025.

#10 NQR finally found legs

Paystack, Moniepoint and Nomba have been doing a number with tabletop payments in the last 18 months. Walk into any shop and you see a cardboard or plastic with QR code or account number to pay into. The reason why this hasn’t caught on is because Nigerian banks have been poor with their QR code payments. Of the 20 major banks, you can only pay with QR on just 6 of them.

But things could change this year because #1 CBN could whip banks into shape, forcing them to make this work and then customers could use them or #2 fintechs and others would use shame or moral suasion to make banks do the right thing.

If NQR pans out; it could blow up payments.

Wondering what happened the previous years and the predictions? Read about my takes for 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021, 2022, and 2023.

20 invaluable lessons I’ve learnt running a startup

Two years ago, I hung my tailored jackets and fancy pants for good and left my cozy corporate gig to fully devote myself to building Lendsqr. I knew it was going to be rough for a white bearded baba agba to run a startup but I never knew that in 2 years, I would learn so much as to upend many of the hardcoded corporate knowledge I had used two decades to amass. 

Let’s just say there have been moments I think we founders definitely need our own exclusive support group. 

The lessons I’ve picked, some of the most important ones that I would share here, are things I wish I knew in my previous careers, especially when I got to the top. Things are definitely wild in the startup land.

#1 Overplanning does nothing but slow you down

Don’t overplan. When reality hits, the elaborate decks and models won’t survive the first contact with realities. Just have a few good North stars that keep you focused when things go off-book, because they definitely will. Reality has a knack for ignoring the script and humbling even the best-laid plans. So McKinsey and KPMG, I won’t be calling on you guys any time soon 😎.

#2 Partner with caution

I always knew partnerships are a delicate dance. But what I didn’t know is how fickle partners could be especially when you are the smaller fry. Please, don’t build your entire plan around them. Most of them don’t have the same urgency you most likely do and will just suck you into their morass and corporate spuddle

#3 There’s only one right reason to hire anyone

Hiring isn’t charity work. Don’t ever let your personal biases anywhere near your hiring decisions. Don’t hire out of pity or with the hope that they’ll miraculously improve. But what if they do? Good for them but I don’t care. As a startup, you can’t afford to give chances. It’s a cold truth, I know; but the truth nonetheless. These are adults. They either show you they can do the job from day one or you show them the door.

#4 Keep the nonsense away

Unless you run a garbage collection service, there should be no room for rubbish. Maintain a zero-tolerance policy for toxicity, especially from those who preach about work-life balance. Those guys don’t want to win as badly as you do. The best course of action is to send them away. Fast. Such attitudes can derail the entire team; swift action is your best defense. 

I don’t have a problem with work life-balance. But right now, I’m working so I can afford to balance later. For those who want the balance now, my door is the wrong one to knock.

#5 Social media is a lie

Social media is hype. Everything you see there is 50x less impressive in real life. Keep your expectations grounded or get swept away at your own peril. Whatever is trending now, for good or for bad, won’t be remembered in 2 days time. Keep your peace! ✌️

#6 Be f*ck-shit prudent

You’ve to be financially prudent. Don’t spend unless someone will die if you don’t. Cash you’ve saved can be a lifeline someday but cash you’ve wasted is gone and will be a pain to replace.

We all know that this is a turbulent time for startups trying to raise money. Lendsqr was lucky to have raised funds just weeks before the storm hit but best believe that doesn’t mean I intend to rest on my oars. We could all use some sense.

#7 Measure only the metrics that matter

Beware of fake marketing metrics. Downloads and views are vanity metrics; they don’t mean sh*t. Track the metrics that matter and actually create value for you. For instance, depending on your niche, this could be transfer amount, fees charged, loans booked, order paid, deliveries,etc. Focus on activities that impact these, everything else is just pretty numbers not worth a dime.

#8 The customer is king 👑

Support your customers like your life depends on it because, in the startup world, it often does. Go to the end of the world to make them happy. Listen to them. Be their friends. Even when they have issues beyond what your company is set out to do, help them. Customers will remember you when the going is good and they would be your best sales rep. 

Make sure you are always in contact with them even if they aren’t doing any business with you. Emails and SMS are the cheapest means to remain in your customers’ lives. They are not paying attention to what you’re saying but they sure as know you’re alive and kicking. Top of mind awareness is key!

#9 The customer is often wrong

We’re already thinking about it, might as well say it. Customers don’t know jack-sh*t. Half of the time, customers are driven by vibes, emotions, and FOMO. They ask for things they don’t know anything about. I’ve had tons of customers pay for expensive features and never used them. Well, some of those features helped snag other customers down the line.

You don’t have to do everything a customer wants, no questions asked, just to satisfy them. Ask tons of questions, understand the answers, guide your customers to think the right way when they’re wrong, but of course, the trick is to do it without them ever feeling wrong.

#10 Make sure the price is right

Don’t undervalue your product and make it too cheap. While a free trial might attract attention, the real deal should reflect its true value. Customers willing to pay for value are your tribe. The onus is on you to make sure the value is there and worth every penny.

Beware of customers who don’t want to spend anything to run their businesses; if they really value that business and they honestly think it would succeed, they would spend to bring their dreams alive.

#11 Sharpen your bullshit antenna 

Develop a finely tuned antenna to detect bullshit customers and partners. If they demand the world before committing, they might be on a joy ride at your expense. Cut them loose. The worst thing that can happen is to spend quality time on customers who drain your morale. 

#12 Spying is not only allowed, it’s compulsory

Spy on your competition. You need to know what your customers know. So when a customer claims your rival is better than you, you can call their bluff by showing them exactly why you’re their best bet. I won’t mention names here but I know what you do 😜

#13 Respect the competition

It’s one thing to research your competitors  to gain an advantage but don’t badmouth or demarket the competition. Never ever do it no matter how tempted you are. Defend them if you can because when you do, your customers, staff and the industry actually respect you even much more. 

Your competitors are in the business just like you and if they thrive, the entire market benefits, including you.

#14 Do tons of mystery shopping

Invest time in mystery shopping. Your customer support team might be messing with your customers and causing havoc. Go undercover and find out if you’ve unintentionally hired clowns. 

Do it often and be decisive about actions; if anyone in your company is consistently screwing customers over; cut them loose like a bad habit. Let your team also know that mystery shoppers come around; it keeps them on their toes.

#15 Discipline isn’t negotiable

Don’t play with discipline. Small lapses often lead to big problems. If anyone in your team can’t do the little things right, they will fumble the big things. Are they worth the chance that you might lose everything? Set a standard and a red-line that can’t be crossed – the life of your business depends on it.

#16 Collaborate with the right people

Don’t work with anyone or company lacking ambition, taste, or integrity. They can’t give you what they don’t have so don’t bother asking. These qualities directly influence the success of your startup so stay focused.

And of course, loyalty is a big deal too. You always need someone in your corner when sh*t hits the fan. This can make all the difference.

#17 People will come, people will go then more people will come again

Don’t feel too bad when your staff leave you hanging and can’t stay the course. It’s tough initially but if the success of your business depends on one person, you’re not building a business, you’re building a house of cards. 

But at the same time, you must know why people leave you; is it because you’re toxic or demanding. If toxic, fix your ways. If too demanding; well, nothing you can do about that.

#18 Loyalty is king

People join your team for various reasons; some just want a job and are happy to move on when they smell greener grass. Some want to build a career. Some care about your vision and what the company is doing. But for those who are loyal to you; treat them like royalty because when you are backed to a corner and vulnerable, you want nothing but the assurance that you ain’t alone in the deep trenches. 

And please, repay the loyalty in full and even with some extra toppings on top. And for those who aren’t loyal; don’t hold anything against them; as long as they do their jobs, everyone is fine and dandy.

Lastly, be that person that it’s worth being loyal to.

#19 Experience is not always an advantage

Experienced staff are good on paper but often carry baggage. Be prepared for the weight, and manage expectations accordingly. While some are great, you might be better off with green hires in some cases.

#20 10x employees aren’t a myth

True gems, these 10x individuals are serious, don’t come with bad attitudes and are curious and ready to work. Cherish them; success is made sweeter with them by your side.


And there you have it folks, two years in the business and it already has me just shy of attaining sage status. Running a startup is a wild ride but I’m hanging on with everything I’ve got because success is the only option. 

These are lessons I’ve learnt from my own experience, and they’ve made the journey not only survivable but potentially enjoyable. As a startup, you either adapt or die; there’s nothing in between. 

As for me and mine, F*CK death, we’re in it to win; BIG!

Brain drain is the root of Nigeria’s fraud pandemic

After my last article about the hushed rape of the Nigerian financial ecosystem, which some call fraud, quite a number of people reached out to share their horror stories hoping I could step in and solve their problems and it got me thinking.


I started asking myself – what’s the foundation of this horrible thing called fraud?


I worked in banking for 16 years before they kicked me out and I remember the quick and decisive ways we dealt with fraud in those days. And I keep asking myself – what happened to the good old days when we tackled fraud without mercy? What changed?

I hate to break it to you, but it’s the people. It’s the people who have changed.

The machine is fine, the man is not

I recently started working with banks again and I’ve found myself comparing the quality of people I knew and left in banking with those I meet with now. Sadly, the latter have come up short. 

Most of my colleagues back then are now Executive Directors and Managing Directors in the banks and I still engage with them often. Their quality remains undisputed; they’re still as sharp as ever, driven and want to get things done. This is a far cry from my experience working with the middle managers who are charged with running these banks. The difference is clear as day. The sad reality is that the incompetence, apathy and poor outcomes from the financial sector are because there are no good hands to manage things effectively anymore.

We’re all busy crying that the working class are leaving the country in droves but that’s not the real problem. The main issue is not that people are japa-ing, it’s that the BEST brains are the ones leaving. Those who successfully migrate to Canada or the UK, especially via the education pathway, are not your average guys. These are the brainy bunch who passed the IELTS, got top grades and paved the way with their competence. Let’s be serious, not many people fall into this category. 

The truth is that only the best brains can go, at least the right way. I’ll save my ink and not bother diving into the other ridiculous pathways.

Banking’s greatest hits are throwbacks

Think about this: what hit product has come out of banking in the past five years during this latest wave of brain drain?

Nothing.

Bank Verification Number (BVN), Interbank transfers, mobile money and all the other cool stuff that have transformed the Nigerian finance space over the last few years? Those either started a long time ago or are the latest innovations of fintechs founded by people who bailed on traditional banking.

The best guys are long gone and there’s no covering up anymore; it’s showing, especially in the fight against fraud. Those with the intelligence and competence to deal with the fraud pandemic aren’t around anymore.

The two major impacts of the best brains leaving is that they’re no longer here to teach the rookies and even more importantly, they are not around to dilute the influence of the poor talent. And now the whole nation is suffering for it.

Today, customers of every bank complain about unauthorized transactions on their account and what do we hear in response? Crickets. The ease with which fraudsters are taking the money shows zero competence from those in charge of stopping this. And don’t even get me started on the Know Your Customer (KYC) process from the stone age the banks still use. 

Lack of tech is not the problem so more tech is not the solution

Some people have come around to suggest the use of Machine Learning (ML) and Artificial Intelligence (AI) etc. But the use of ML and AI only makes sense if the banks acknowledge they have a problem in the first place. If you report fraud to your bank today, the response will most likely lack the urgency that shows an understanding of the seriousness of the issue from the jump. So is it really the tech that’s lacking? 

Artificial Intelligence (AI) is only as good as the Human Intelligence (HI) using it.

The tools the banks need to tackle fraud are gathering dust in their already existing arsenal. They’re not being used. Technology is not the problem.

Why won’t the banks come together to solve the problem and create an effective deterrent to fraud? Because it requires competence and discipline. And those two guys seem to have colluded and left the building. 😔

What’s the plan?

We’re in a serious crisis, and I don’t have the answer, but brain drain is the root of this problem. I cannot be convinced otherwise. But you are welcome to try. Let’s lay it all on the table and look at it together.

The leadership in the banks is still pretty impressive but they need to address this problem urgently. It’s time to either upskill their current talent or bring some of those who have japa’d to come back to help. It goes without saying that they will pay through their noses for this; especially for those who’ve gotten their papers and aren’t hungry anymore.

Because if this continues, contrary to what we like to tell ourselves, we will not be alright, and nothing will be okay.

Fraudsters are raping the Nigerian fintech space to death

Rape and financial fraud share a common thread: the silence of victims, often due to shame. In Nigeria, banks and fintechs suffer a N12 billion loss to fraud, yet remain silent, fearing the stigma. This silence hampers justice and perpetuates the cycle of crime.

Rape is the absolutely worst thing that could happen to anyone. It’s so horrible that if rapists are caught and sentenced to death, many people won’t even bat an eye and simply believe it’s justified. It’s so horrible that some rape victims commit suicide. 

But if it’s such a terrible offense with severe consequences, why do rapists often get away without consequences? The answer is pretty straightforward, albeit very sad: Most rape victims would rather keep mum than expose these bastards. 

Naturally, the next question could be why are victims so reluctant to step forward to the extent that many accept that they may never get justice but stay silent all the same? 

The answer to this, much like the former, is also quite straightforward. 

Shame. 

Nigerian banks and fintechs have been shamed into a N12 billion silence

It’s no secret that victims are often shamed into silence and even merely the thought of being shamed is enough of a deterrent for those who may want to speak up. Many times, people even forget about the guilty party and focus on grasping at straws to blame the victim and try to convince them that they were complicit in their attack.

Similarly, shame is what makes it difficult for financial providers whose businesses have been defrauded to speak up even when they can get justice from the authorities.

Would you believe that since the start of the year, there has been a systematic rape of banks and fintech? I’ve personally tallied ~N12 billion lost to frauds and hack. Every bank and fintech hit has been groaning in silence but no one is ready to speak up. 

And I’m not just talking about small or new banks, I’m talking about from the big 5 banks all the way down to the smallest ones; fintechs included. Business Day recently mentioned Fidelity, Access Bank, and others who have lost billions to fraud over the last few months

The discussions about fraud are happening behind closed doors, Telegram channels, WhatsApp groups and the groans are growing louder but still, no one is ready to break this costly silence.

And that, fellow Nigeria, is what the fraudsters are banking on.

Why is fraud running so rampant?

A major cause for concern is sloppy APIs and weak security infrastructure that allows bad actors to gain access to financial systems and move money out. However, despite the more sophisticated systems and security measures with the large banks, people are often the weak links in the system. 

Generally, humans will be careless but it also happens that bank staff are bribed to  bring in compromised devices to work, etc. which makes it possible for fraudsters to access the banks’ database externally and use private APIs to perpetuate all sorts of crimes. 

Of course, we can’t leave out the fraud committed using debit/credit cards and POS machines.  Chargeback fraud is so rife you could write an entire book around it. Chargeback destroyed Union54, a once promising African card processor

What happens to the stolen funds? 

Well, the stolen funds take quite the journey. First, the money is sent to another bank,  split and passed through even more banks before it then moves through some certain new generation banks; some of which are foreign-owned.

Nigerian banks protect themselves. When cases of unauthorized transactions are reported, it usually triggers a flurry of emails and calls between the banks and the accounts suspected to be involved are restricted pending further investigation. There’s a legal agreement between banks to do this. Albeit, not sanctioned by CBN. 

Unfortunately, the new generation banks and fintechs don’t comply with this rule and so the stolen funds simply disappear. Poof!

What’s the implication if this continues? 

The reality is that the traditional commercial banks make enough profit to cover getting hacked by APIs so while we should be concerned about them, they’re not the ones most affected by this menace. 

The real problem is with the everyday Nigerian who loses their hard-earned money. If the banks are unable to trace where the money went, there’s nothing they can do and their money is simply gone. 

The ability of the financial sector to play its role effectively is rooted in trust. Even the strongest economy will crumble if end users lose faith in the financial system. This is what’s at stake while fraudsters continue to destroy decades of work that the CBN, banks, and fintechs put in to build the system we currently have. 

For all its many woes, Nigeria is actually ahead of quite  a number of  its counterparts in terms of the capabilities in the financial sector; especially with electronic transactions.

Therefore, if Nigerians lose in electronic transactions, that sets us back significantly and all hopes of growing the economy vanish.

By law and regulations,  banks and fintechs are required to declare to the CBN whenever there is fraud; either hacks or just the everyday “Nigerian Prince” scenarios.  But we have to be pragmatic for a minute here. Remember the shame we spoke about earlier? Well, this is where it comes in. The shame associated with declaring a successful fraud attack to the CBN prevents affected organizations from doing so. 

If you have had the misfortune of CBN having you to explain your mistakes, then you would understand while sometimes when you kids get bullied in school, (or even more dastardly, raped) then you would know why no bank sings to the CBN when they are taken advantage of. 

To make it worse, when customers hear a bank has been hacked, it immediately reflects poorly on the business and suggests incompetence and an inability to meet expectations. 

It’s almost like the fraudsters responsible for these terrible acts don’t even exist at all.

But who is to blame here?

The short answer is everyone!. 

Quality of human resources within the banking and fintech ecosystems have taken the hit as every smart one of them has “japa“. Some of us may claim to “love” Naija but the truth is, the best and brightest have gone leaving us at the mercy of digital night marauders. 

Poor quality has led to poorer platforms. We now have very powerful APIs and other technical capabilities with sub-par resources to monitor and secure them. We are all dead men walking.

Banks and fintechs are sloppy with their Know Your Customer (KYC) and Customer Due Diligence (CDD). Or how do you explain Adedeji with N100k inflow over 24 months suddenly getting N10m and immediately moving that money out?

Super agents aren’t able to explain how sudden cash flies through some agents as cash and there are no ways to hold anyone accountable.

CBN is also not on top of these fraud issues. They don’t need someone to report themselves to know that all isn’t right with the system.

Enough of victim blaming and shaming.

How do we restore the trust that lines the financial system 

We’ve already established that everyone has dropped the ball but irrespective of who’s to blame, this issue must be addressed urgently. If not, once the trust in the system is destroyed, the center wouldn’t hold. Fintechs and digital financial services is one great thing Nigeria does well. It shouldn’t die.

CBN and banks should lead a tougher chargeback regime, similar to what happens with cards, for interbank frauds. This will force every bank to take KYC and CDD seriously.

Any bank on the chain found not to have done proper fraud profiling for transactions should be held responsible for the amount that passed through them. Enough of end-customers holding the bag when everything goes south. Let’s hold banks accountable for a change.

CBN, Banks and NIBSS should make it easier for anyone to report fraud. The current process is broken and doesn’t help anyone. They need to collaborate with the Nigerian Communications Commision (NCC) to make fraud so expensive for fraudsters so they reconsider their career choice. 

For instance, once implicated, a fraudster should be banned from all electronic transaction channels from 1 year to forever. Good luck to this individual.

The issue here is consequence management. When the authorities make the consequence for fraud expensive and damning, fraudsters will begin to borrow some sense. 

Until then, welcome to the league of the onlookers. Because everyday is like Christmas for these fraudsters while the rest of us are wondering when this comic episode will end.

10 reasons why I’ve fired my staff

Being a boss isn’t easy, especially when it comes to letting people go. Here are some absurd reasons I’ve had to say goodbye to employees. Or maybe not?

Being a boss is hard. But the hardest part may be letting people off when they don’t fit in. What constitutes “fit-in” is neither here nor there.

Here are 10 of the common “get the hell out of my office” lines I’ve ever used:

#1 I need to find myself

At some point in my life, I was so tired of being the boss. I didn’t want to keep being responsible for people and giving instructions. Everyone was so dependent on me, and I couldn’t keep doing that. It was suffocating. I needed some time to figure out what I wanted to do next and just catch a breath, so naturally, someone had to get fired. 

No, they didn’t do anything wrong. Their presence was just stifling me, and I couldn’t think. I was simply wrong for them at that time. It really was just a me problem but it’s too bad they had to pay the price. I hope they’re okay wherever they are now.

#2 My girlfriend doesn’t like you

Relationships are way more important than work and I would rather spend all my time with those I love than spend a few hours of my day with some people trying to do big things and solve problems. Work was taking up too much of my time. 

“Madam” absolutely resented the people I work with, most of all, my team leads with whom I spent most of my time. You know the saying, “happy (almost) wife, happy life”? I chose to be happy. My team leads needed to go. I’m sure they understood. 

Life is too fleeting not to chase love, whatever the cost.

#3 You don’t respect my boundaries

I had employees who kept calling me whenever customers had issues that needed to be resolved urgently. They insisted these were emergencies and keeping the customers satisfied was vital to keeping the company alive. 

It’s my company after all, I know what’s best for it. The customers can always wait till tomorrow. But you know who I couldn’t make room for tomorrow? The employees who disturbed my peace. I would have done a great disservice to myself if I didn’t fire them. Of course, I care about my customers, but not enough to sacrifice my boundaries. 

#4 I’m not getting value for this role

From time to time, employees talk about an increase in their salaries for a cost of living adjustment. What about me? Well, I decided to do a ‘cost-of-employing-you’ adjustment and I adjusted that to zero. It wasn’t my fault. The economy backed me in a corner and they needed to go. 

#5 You’re boring

If I’m going to devote my life to working with people, the least they can do is be interesting. Do you get the ‘ick’ about some people? When you can’t really put your finger on it but you just know you don’t like being around them. It’s too tedious.

It doesn’t matter if we’re doing serious business at work, you need to loosen up and make it your priority to be lively at work before anything else. Is that too much to ask? Ugh! Well some people gave me the ‘ick’ and I gave them the boot. Good riddance!

#6 You work too hard

I’m well aware that the purpose of coming to work is to … well, work but some people take it too seriously. Why would they work for hours on end and expect me to do the same? I don’t appreciate being nudged or having discipline forced down my throat. I prefer to work on my own terms and no, I don’t care if anyone is waiting on me. 

It’s just work. It can wait. Sheesh. Relax and live a little.

#7 You’re not a good friend

A lot of people like to say work is impersonal and the people you meet there are just your colleagues. That’s a whole lot of cow dung. If I’m going to spend about 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for about 40 years of my life with a bunch of people, we are family. I don’t care what the DNA results say. 

I employed them and I expect them to be good friends and stick with me through thick and thin. I need to feel excited to talk to them and above all, they need to understand me when I’m having a bad day and not hold me accountable. 

I’ve fired anyone who has been the opposite of this. I don’t have time for nonsense. Get an attitude adjustment.

#8 You do exactly what the company needs

This one really does my head in. Do you know how frustrating it is to work with oversabi people? I employed them to do A, why would they add B even though it’s absolutely necessary? They’re just employees. It’s not their business if the company will suffer when they don’t pitch in. 

I don’t like people who don’t know how to stick to their lane. 

Ewww

It’s no surprise when I want them gone. 

#9 God told me to let you off

I didn’t create myself so life isn’t always all about what I want but rather, what my creator commands. A few times, something about an employee just didn’t sit right with me. I tried to ignore that feeling but it just wouldn’t quit and I knew what I had to do. 

I felt so strongly in my Spirit that they had to go and I did the only thing I could do and fired them.

Who am I to say no when God says yes?

#10 You get upset when I’m being a bad boss

So what if I don’t pay their salaries for 3 months? Or what if I ignore my executive duties or deliver mediocre results? Why do they get so upset? Life is not that hard and I’m not perfect. 

My advice to them is to grow thicker skin and be more tolerant. And of course to get the hell out of my office. 

They don’t have what it takes to be here.

————

I know I have an enviable amount of self control and some of you have even fired people for less. I like to give people time to do the right thing but I can’t wait forever. I’m running a business, not “Adedeji Olowe’s halfway house for lost staff”. 

If I haven’t made it clear enough, my ideal staff consists of fun, lively individuals who don’t take work too seriously; do the bare minimum; don’t bother me with customer issues no matter how urgent; cater to my every mood and emotion; are willing to work for free, and of course, are thoroughly liked by my girlfriend.

What do you think? 

Absolutely RIDICULOUS right?!

Well that’s exactly how it sounds when employees quit their jobs AKA fire their bosses because they need to go “find themselves” or work isn’t “fun” or they get critical feedback for a poorly done job.

It’s work, not Disneyland. 

The reasons I’ve shared with you are actual real life reasons (some paraphrased, of course) that my staff have quit. Although I’ve seen this happen quite a number of times, it still shocks me everytime. It takes grit and discipline to build something valuable that will stand the test of time. It’s no easy feat and it’s definitely not for the faint-hearted. 

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been left high and dry for reasons I still can’t make sense till today. Employees tend to be so focused on what’s going on with them that they forget that their employers are human beings too.

If I acted on my every whim, where would we even be?