POS is a Screen-door on a Nigerian Submarine

Sometimes I find it humorous seeing banks wring their hands at the disastrous investments made in POS. As the CBN was hell-bent on dragging each off us across the generational divide of cash versus electronic payment, it found willing allies in banks.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for electronic payments or commerce. It is faster, cheaper and more difficult to hide or do frauds. Frauds do exists, like it does even at your church parish, but it is way easier to trace although someone also said it is also easier to lose the shirt on your back.
That’s that for the digression.

What riles me is the apparent lack of thought on how these POS would work. The emphasis on POS, just another means of payment, was unhealthy. Unlike ATMs whose utility can be easily seen, POS can much dodgier.

And they don’t come cheap. Even after rebates, extensive bidding war and all that, a single box can settle you back as high as N70K. Since these are physical electronics items, the bean counter always insist to depreciate them fully over four years which comes to about N1,458 a month.

These tiny little beauties need more care and attention than an over pampered prima-donna. You could expect at least N2,000 spent on visitation, network connectivity and paper roll in a month. So for a single POS to breakeven, it must make income of N3,458 every single 30 days.  Or is it? Not at all!

You see, in the POS business, like the proverbial Hong Kong Triad Mafia Warlord Jinja, almost everyone takes a slice of the commission made to be surrendered by the hapless merchants or mama oloja. But then only the bank that deploys the POS is made to pony up the investment upfront. But they only get to see 57.5% of the commission if and only if the acquirer is also the terminal owner. That is not most of the case but for the sake of argument, let’s imagine it’s so. So for our dear bank to make money, it must find a way to ferret out at least N6,014 worth of revenue from the transactions. So how much actually transactions would the POS do to make the merchant part with this? As commissions are fixed at 1.25% of value, that POS must grace N481,113 worth of successful transactions.

That sounds easy until you consider how treacherous the networks have been. That little POS darling sitting on the table must constantly dial home over GSM or internet. GSM is very common but dubious while the internet is expensive. You wouldn’t even smell any of that for N1,000 a month. So most often than not, the POS doesn’t work, cardholders are frustrated and many a merchants have used POS as a basketball or even squashed a roach with one.

The industry today has about 110,000 POS deployed across town with only about 14,000 seeing active duty. The rest are simply having fun and sipping Piña colada in some random warehouse. The active ones were able to push out about N11B (March 2013 – verify the number, I could have made it up) in total but the average income across the whole POS portfolio is just a little north of N1,200. There goes the POS investment.

So is there hope for POS? Yes but not the way we currently run it. Even then there seems to be another channel doing way better than POS.

Right now, I need to lay off ranting a bit. I will discuss the sexiness of web in another post soon.

Galaxy S4 is Awesome. Yawn!

The S4 is the new kid on the block and it’s an absolutely fondle mobile. Think about it, it’s got every thingamajig on earth. 5-inch super amoled screen, a zippy new Samsung Exynos 5 or Qualcomm Snapdragon S4 Pro processor. The only thing it doesn’t do now is brew coffee.

It is amazing how quickly we have arrived at a point where a new phone doesn’t awesomely shock us anymore. The specs are converging, the laws of hand-held mechanics are getting to a point of breach.

Can someone remember when people drool over PC config (memory, hard disk, sound)? Those times have gone – nobody cares. Nobody ever comes around to check out the sexy new laptop you slugging around. Even the tablet life is reaching that point.

So, I guess by the time Galaxy reaches the S6, it wouldn’t make news anymore. unless maybe it could make coffee but then every Chinese knockoff would be making coffee too.

Nigeria has 17M Internet Users, More or Less

Some people have been throwing some fantastical numbers about Nigeria having 43 million internet users.

I really don’t know who cooked up this ultra-sloppy data but no wonder the over-creamed salad of consultancy advices smell like rancid skimmed milk.
If Nigeria has 43 million internet users then I probably have a pink elephant, with wings, prancing around my backyard.

So how many do we have? Judging from MTN’s latest financials (2012), they have 3.8 million smart devices (those that can consume internet without choking up – actually MTN is so parsimonious that not even a 12K US Robotics modem can choke on it) and 201,000 dongles. That comes to 4M internet devices (many being fondle-slabs). Since MTN has 47.5% market ownership, we can extrapolate 8.42M internet devices. If we are optimistic, can we argue that 2 people use a device (Nobody shares my phone with me though). Maybe 17M users. Far cry from 43M.

Why this 43M magical number is apparently not wrong to smart pant consultants baffles me.

Scientists Network Rat Brain. Coming to a Moron Near You

Surprising news this morning. Some mad scientists have been able to network two rats’ brains together. Awesome!

I guess it is a matter of years before that feature is available to the next moron near you. Or maybe if our leaders’ brains can be networked with decent leaders in other countries where things work. Fat chance.

Oh, by the way, the implications are far reaching. Imagine I need to solve a problem, I could tap into a network brain (Amazon Neural Mesh, say) and have the thoughts done and downloaded to my gray mush.

In fact, I could go on holiday while all my critical thoughts are handled by some badass brain somewhere.

Or if I’m out of job, I could rent my brain out for free. But considering some of the evil thoughts I run through every time, I doubt the quality of my output.

Wait, what if a brain freezes?

You think I made this up? Read it here..

Some people are smart, but is Airtel?

No one had a gripe about NCC laying down the rule that no SMS sent in Nigeria should be more than N4. Who would be angry with such, maybe some banks and of course the Telcos who love to do nothing but rape the living daylight out of our wallets?

Of course, Airtel, ever eager to comply, sent us SMS that we shall now, henceforth be consuming bowls after bowls of SMS at N4 per serving.
But to my amazement, Airtel to Airtel SMS cost N5. At first, I felt I was seeing double (I see double with my left eye – searching for a replacement) but I wasn’t.

Whosoever made that config or decision needs a ride to someplace near Tejuosho market.