Month: October 2006

We were all rudely jolted by news of another ADC airplane crash in Nigeria today. Damn, how many times will these metal birds fall of the sky before someone starts to do something? It is pretty unfortunate how human lives are just wantonly wasted because some dude is inept and corrupt.

Even though it seems every other flight is crashing in Nigeria, the recent spate of air crashes has gone up pretty much same way in other parts of the world. But what I have seen is that, most, if not all these airlines are budget airlines; not anyone of the majors has suffered a catastrophic crash. The nearest is that of Air France in Canada last August but they got every passenger and crew out under 90 seconds flat.

Could it be that the intense competition in air travels (think of EasyJet, JetBlue, RyanAir) have made everyone cut cost so much that some people cut their corners too close? Could it be that the increase in number of aircrafts in the sky is overwhelming national airspaces? Could it be that pilots are now poorly trained and unmotivated? Or may be the end of time is just hours away?

Some of the deadliest plane crashes in the past two years:

• Oct. 29, 2006: A Nigerian ADC Airlines plane carrying 104 people crashed shortly after taking off during a storm in Abuja. Six people survived, but the others were feared dead.
• Sept. 29, 2006: A Gol Airlines flight crashed in the Brazilian jungle after clipping a private jet, killing all 154 people aboard.
• Aug. 22, 2006: A Russian Pulkovo Airlines jetliner returning from the Black Sea resort of Anapa crashed in Ukraine during a thunderstorm, killing all 170 people on board.
• July 9, 2006: A Russian S7 airliner crashed while landing on a wet runway in the Siberian city of Irkutsk and burst into flames, killing 124 people.
• May 3, 2006: An Armenian Armavia airliner crashed in the Black Sea while trying to land in the Russian resort city of Sochi in rough weather, killing all 113 people aboard.
• Dec. 6, 2005: A C-130 military transport carrying Iranian journalists crashed into a building in a Tehran suburb as the pilot attempted an emergency landing, killing 115 people – 94 in the plane and 21 on the ground.
• Dec. 10, 2005: A Nigerian Sosoliso Airlines jet crashed in Port Harcourt, killing 107 people, most of them schoolchildren.
• Oct. 22, 2005: A Nigerian Bellview Airlines jetliner crashed shortly after takeoff from Lagos, killing all 117 people aboard.
• Sept. 5, 2005: An Indonesian Mandala Airlines jetliner crashed into a crowded neighborhood moments after takeoff, killing 143 people – 99 on the plane and 44 on the ground.
• Aug. 16, 2005: A West Caribbean Airways charter jet crashed in Venezuela, killing 160 people, most of them tourists from Martinique.
• Aug. 14, 2005: A Helios Airways flight from Larnaca, Cyprus, to Athens crashed into a hillside outside Athens, killing 121 people.
• Feb. 3, 2005: An Afghan Kam Air plane crashed in the mountains in bad weather, killing 104 people.
  

   

  
  

President Obasanjo from Nigeria meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?” “Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.” President Obasanjo frowns. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.” The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?” Tony Blair walks into the room. “Yes, my Queen?” The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?” Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, “That would be me.” “Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.

Back in Abuja , President Obasanjo asks to speak with his Vice president Atiku. “Answer this for me. Your mother and your Father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?” “I’m not sure,” says the vice president. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

Atiku goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none could give him an answer. Finally, he bumps into King Sunny Ade. Atiku looks around to see if anyone can overhear then whispers, “Sunny! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or our sister. Who is it?”

Sunny whispers back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”  Atiku smiles and says “Thanks!” Atiku rushes back to speak with Obasanjo “Say Sir, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s King Sunny Ade!” Obasanjo gets up, stomps over to Atiku, and angrily yells into his face “No,you idiot! It’s Tony Blair

News have been going around that Nigeria, at last, has hurtled someone into space. In this case, a nubile 17 year old girl called Stella Felix. When I first heard it, I didn’t believe it and everyone called me a damned cynic. Duh!From a commonsense point of view and a little background knowledge, NASA will never haul a teenager’s arse to space. Neither do they do that for old geezers. All because of the extreme physical fitness that is required. And it takes years of training before you ever get a shot at reaching the stars.

From my investigation, what Stella experienced is called Zero Gravity Flight. Which is a space simulation done by flying a plane to high altitude and descending at a rate that makes the passengers to feel weightless. It is all physics (Sorry, I miss the class when the calculations were explained).

So to the dumb ass people who spread wrong stories, yeah, Stella went to space!

Read here at Space Week

Having endured years of stupidly designed and pretty ugly laptops, I finally decided to opt for a Mac Pro. I am thinking of something black, shining and sexy. Just like an African Queen. Presently I use a HP NC6120 with 1Gig of memory but it is so ugly it makes me feel like puking. And the Windows XP Pro on it makes me feel like crying when it’s time to act up.
Hmmm, a Macbook Pro? Where do I get that I Nigeria? Heard one could get one at PC Outlet at The Palms but am sure they probably gonna rob me blind. And my experience in bringing in foreign gears, as far as warranty is concerned, has been very far from pleasant. I once sacrificed a HP NX9500 (when it was pretty expensive and hip) because it didn’t come with an international warranty.

This would be an expensive treat for me, but don’t I deserve it?

But first thing first, lemmie go raise the dough….

At last, Google has launched a beta program showcasing its Writely (online document editor) acquisition and an online spreadsheet. But the missing gap is linking this with Gmail. Writing well formatted emails on Gmail is not for the faint hearted as at its best, it is terribly simplistic. Also, when is Gmail going to allows us send text messages…? May be free! Am just day dreaming.

S