Laptop makers have no brains

Once upon a time each phone brand had its own charger type. But common sense prevailed, hastened by the European Union, and everyone agreed on USB starting first with mini then micro connector. For more on this story you can read here, here and here.

Apple has been a notable exception, but it has gazillion phones out there using only one type of connector.

But it seems the day the rain of common sense fell the laptop manufacturers had umbrellas. Different charger types, even along same product brand? It’s hell. It doesn’t make sense. It is stupid.

There is nothing technical about this after all almost all laptops in the world are made by just 5 companies – Quanta, CompalWistron, Inventec and Asus.  The last has since established its own brand. I use its excellent Asus RTN66R VPN Router in my lair.

There has been numerous talks and proposals to have all laptops share a common charger. A standard has been pushed aggressively by IEC but still a pipe dream. Wake me up when it happens.

Good night fellas.

The end of the world is holographic and unreal

Ok, I’m an armchair futurist but I’m not ashamed of that at all. How could one be ashamed of the progress Microsoft has with HoloLens? That sh*t simply blows the mind away!

Yeah, my mind got blown with the scary realities of VR and I haven’t been able to find the pieces since.

In a nutshell, HoloLens turns the VR world upside down by overlaying holograms on the everyday objects around us. It is easier to understand by starting here and then watching a live demo here.

This may be more useful for the everyday people like you and me while Oculus Rift is suited for core gamers. The possibilities are endless though – education, business, entertainment, porn, etc.

You don’t know what I’m ranting about? Leave, you don’t belong here!

What's SaaS and SOA to a Layman?

I’m currently driving a large automation project and while prepping my team for the technical presentation, I decided to pepper the stuff with some nice buzzwords, something I can use to impress my colleagues. I opened my hat and tossed in some SaaS and SOA.

But a benign spirit warned me not to make a fool of myself and I patiently obeyed; so I looked things up. It seems my mum’s fervently praying for me upstairs. RIP mama!

In a layman’s term SaaS means Software as a Service which means software system not within your network or installed on your PC or phone or any other random computing device. But wait, what of my Gmail and Yahoo email?

Oh, that’s SaaS! You kidding me!

Welcome to planet IT. I used to tell people that IT is a fraud. We come up with a random name to give an old thing and voila, it is as sexy as a lipstick on an 80 year old grandma. Tomorrow we are going to call the sun Self-Sustaining Electromagnetic Wave Generator.

And SOA? It means Service Oriented Architecture. It is a means of getting a remote software system to do some bit of work without itself being a complete usable software. I mean isn’t that DCOM and RPC of yore? Well, something like that but not exactly like that. To be proper SOA it must be independent of any vendor, product or technology. These days most SOA are web service based.

With SOA, a system or platform or software is built out of other reusable components. For example, you could call a Web service that sends email or gives you the exchange rate of a currency at a specific time. It could be used in app A and another unrelated app B.

A SaaS can be built out of an SOA.

Since my integration isn’t going to be hosted outside of the office, I simply chased SaaS out of my presentation and respected myself.

By the way, my descriptions may not be accurate or goofy at best but then, isn’t that what I call fluff?

Is your bank there while you are on the move?

We are always on the move, not because we don’t have anything to do but that’s the reality of our lives in Lagos. We are usually busy, stuck in traffic and when our pretty backsides are stuck in traffic for hours, we end up loving our fondleslabs.

So while in that horrendous traffic, we want to get some things done such as reading the latest gist on Linda Ikeji or transferring money to a pesky cousin. Banking is what we all take seriously because that’s where your liquid livelihood is probably warehoused. We just wanna be able to hit our bank anytime and every time, any day and every day.

If banks understand this (they are supposed to be smart guys, ehn?) then I suppose they should have mobile first strategy. Ok, that’s consultants’ speak (heaven knows I hate that bunch!). The taste of the pudding is in the eating (whosoever came up with that proverb is a wobia!) so I expect that banks should have websites tuned for mobile phones. After all if I need to pay Silifa or find out some random thing about my bank and I’m stuck on Third Mainland Bridge traffic just around Oworo, it’s my unfortunate phone, battery and data permitting, that I will turn to.

So on an unfortunate Saturday while waiting for my friend to come around, I decided to visit banks’ websites with my phone and see how they scale up.
Here we go people:

BankMobile FriendlySecure Website
Access BankYesYes
CitibankYesNo
Diamond Bank (*Acquired by Access Bank)YesNo
Ecobank NigeriaNoNo
Fidelity Bank PlcYesYes
First Bank of NigeriaYesNo
First City Monument BankNoYes
Guaranty Trust BankYesNo
Heritage Bank LimitedYesNo
Keystone Bank LimitedYesNo
Skye BankNoYes
Stanbic IBTC Bank YesNo
Standard Chartered BankYesYes
Sterling BankYesNo
Union Bank of NigeriaYesNo
United Bank for AfricaNoNo
Unity Bank PlcYesNo
Wema BankYesNo
Zenith BankYesYes 

How did I test?

  • Used Samsung S5
  • Searched for the bank name and clicked on the link
  • Faffing about on April 4, 2015

What’s the secure website about?
It is increasingly common for websites to now default to using just HTTPS for all traffic. It is seen as a sign of understanding the times. However it doesn’t mean that internet banking traffic has been compromised (all banks use HTTPS for their internet banking).

Instant Recharge: The New Kid on the Block

Something interesting is happening in Nigeria but it’s so subtle you may not even notice it. Ma’am, I tore up the recharge voucher!

Ok, if your bank doesn’t allow you to buy airtime instantly from your phone maybe time you got another bank. Nope, seriously, I’m not doing a Diamond Bank skit.

I just finished reading “The best interface is no interface” and the first stuff that came to my mind was, we just did this s**t in Lagos! You can now top-up your phone instantly without scratching a single card.

A quick backgrounder. Some years ago, CBN got tired of banks just looking only for rich dudes and newly minted yahoo boys and so took them on a Cashless drive. Some bits worked and some failed. Mobile money was one of the failed bits. Damn, people just don’t like mobile money wallets. I didn’t like them either. They were islands, expensive to operate and just generally annoying. Meanwhile at the end of the experiments where bankers set fires to a lot of money, out of the ashes rose USSD codes.

Not knowing what to do with the damn thing, banks started slapping in some bits of code that allows you to buy airtime when you dialed say * 123 * amount #. It simply works! GTBank was the first to start, then Fidelity, then Zenith and before you could say Jack Robinson, other banks fell in. Today, Wema, First Bank and Sterling have joined the fray and before mid-year, without divulging confidential information, more than 10 banks will launch the service. I can predict that come January 1 next year, the only banks that won’t be offering this service would be headquartered in Sambisa Forest.

There are implications though and as usual it would be a double edge sword depending on which side of the damn sword you are on.

Let’s talk about the positives.
Customers would have an amazing time buying airtime. If you’ve experienced this service, you ain’t gonna touch a recharge card again. Neither would you login to your miserable Internet banking again.

Banks, I just love bankers! They now earn new revenue stream of between 4% to 6% depending on how they bargain with providers. Trust me, there would be bloodbath next year when contracts are renewed.

New services would ride on this. One day someone would figure out transferring funds instantly can also work on USSD. Same as cashless ATM withdrawal. Customer service may even evolve on it: you may be able to update your address, phone, email, etc. without visiting your bank.

Finally, even if we roasted our Mobile Money ideas, our simple but elegant USSD has worked. Let someone clap for CBN!

But the bad is scarier!
Recharge sellers are facing extinction. Everyone has phones and almost everyone has accounts. Once the banks have corralled their customers into this scheme, there goes the gravy train. Oops, obliteration isn’t awaiting only the recharge sellers but also the super dealers. Damn, I feel sorry for the lot.

Card networks (I didn’t mention names!) will feel the pinch. You want to know why? Because they make money off transactions but once banks figure out how to do same stuff over USSD without involving the card networks, say goodbye to money baby! After all, 95% of all transactions in Nigeria are local. In fact I feel the number is sexed up, it may be closer to 99% but then who cares?

NCC and CBN may bring further regulations into this. Regulations help and hurt at same time. Depends on where you find yourself, just like that damned swinging sword up some paragraphs above. At least I know of one standing regulation that says Banks cannot sell recharge directly and must go through a provider. Should that change, then…complete the sentence.

The market today is dominated by two major players, but I won’t mention names because I have friends there. If NCC tweaks the regulations both face the risk of disappearing as the telcos will simply talk to the banks and cut vending companies off at the knees. I’m sure the telcos are already noticing things.
In all, there are more gainers (customers and banks; about 30M of them lot) than losers (recharge sellers, super dealers, card networks, vending providers) so let the game starts. I’m up for innovation, I’m up for liberation and I’m up for a good sleep after a long travel.

See what a boring flight can make you type out. Pathetic.