Category: Personal

Read Adedeji’s thoughts on more personal issues with the mix of humour and truth.

I own the pepsi

A Jamaican Rasta man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumped up and said, “Your Honor. I brought the child into this world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody.”

The judge turns to the husband and says, “What do you have to say in the matter?” The rastaman sat for a while contemplating…then slowly rose. “Your Honor, If I man put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it…’I and I’ or the machine’s?”

Dopey and the Penguin

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE seven dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope.

Dopey leads the pack. “Dopey, my son,” says the Pope, “what can I do for you?”

Dopey asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.”In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?”

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.”

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them, with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, “Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?”

“I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.”

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting……

“Dopey screwed a penguin!”……
“Dopey screwed a penguin!”……

Is this a CFMAIL bug?

I just finished deploying a newsletter software showcasing some fancy CFFORM do da functions to the Library department. However, along the line, someone (up there) felt the user profile of the of the sender ID for the newsletter should be changed. We did the change on AD and since then, the mails have stopped coming in. Funnily, mails destined for subscribers outside my organization went fine, and if an internal email got copied, it got there. The mail only zaps into thin space when the TO address in internal. I troubleshot the servers, the firewalls, even messed the chat server up along the line (wanted people to share my grief, duh!).

I got fed up and left the stuff for a while (since Monday, I have been having nightmares of the honchos coming for my head). The CFMAIL is fed by a query to generate the content and the email addresses. Sometimes this evening, I removed the query and wrapped the CFMAIL within a CFLOOP (it does the same thing, just that CFMAIL with query directly is sexier) and it worked well…

I still don’t know if this is a known quirk or I’m getting something wrong.

Not the best time to take a jump

Dear Husband:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t touch me or anything. Either you’re cheating or you don’t love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I’m gone.

P.S. If you’re trying to find me, don’t. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn’t work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was “You look just like a man!” My mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So, when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me.

So, take care.

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that’s not a problem.

Signed Rich As H*ll and Free!