Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident…

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.Then she noticed a young man smiling at her, presuming he was laughing at her on account of her condition. She changed her seatbut he only seemed more amused.She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing.She had had the bus stopped, found a Policeman and had the man arrested on a charge of intimidation.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read “Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins”, then she moved under one that read “Sloans Liniments remove swelling”.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read “William’s Stick Did The Trick”.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read “Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.”

The case was dismissed.

I own the pepsi

A Jamaican Rasta man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumped up and said, “Your Honor. I brought the child into this world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody.”

The judge turns to the husband and says, “What do you have to say in the matter?” The rastaman sat for a while contemplating…then slowly rose. “Your Honor, If I man put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it…’I and I’ or the machine’s?”

Dopey and the Penguin

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are THE seven dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope.

Dopey leads the pack. “Dopey, my son,” says the Pope, “what can I do for you?”

Dopey asks, “Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?”

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, “No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.”In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back, “Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?”

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, “No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe.”

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them, with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, “Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?”

“I’m sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.”

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting……

“Dopey screwed a penguin!”……
“Dopey screwed a penguin!”……

Revisited: Is this a CFMAIL bug?

Now am back this morning. Even though I could not breathe freely, I was still curious to know what could have gone wrong. Who am I to say a solid program like CF7 has a bug (a roach or something more creepy)?To know if CF was actually generating those emails, I changed the SMTP server IP address to something wrong so that I could catch the mails in the underlivered mail folder (<cfroot>/MailUndelivr/) and ran the code again. Also did a dump of the email addresses the email should go to.

What I saw made me stop. CFMAIL generated email only for the first record in the dumped query. Because that was the only mail I saw in the undelivered folder.

I googled my problem to discover that other guys out there are having the same problem. For now, I will stick to CFLOOP/CFMAIL combination while MM sort things out.

Is this a CFMAIL bug?

I just finished deploying a newsletter software showcasing some fancy CFFORM do da functions to the Library department. However, along the line, someone (up there) felt the user profile of the of the sender ID for the newsletter should be changed. We did the change on AD and since then, the mails have stopped coming in. Funnily, mails destined for subscribers outside my organization went fine, and if an internal email got copied, it got there. The mail only zaps into thin space when the TO address in internal. I troubleshot the servers, the firewalls, even messed the chat server up along the line (wanted people to share my grief, duh!).

I got fed up and left the stuff for a while (since Monday, I have been having nightmares of the honchos coming for my head). The CFMAIL is fed by a query to generate the content and the email addresses. Sometimes this evening, I removed the query and wrapped the CFMAIL within a CFLOOP (it does the same thing, just that CFMAIL with query directly is sexier) and it worked well…

I still don’t know if this is a known quirk or I’m getting something wrong.