Galaxy S4 is Awesome. Yawn!

The S4 is the new kid on the block and it’s an absolutely fondle mobile. Think about it, it’s got every thingamajig on earth. 5-inch super amoled screen, a zippy new Samsung Exynos 5 or Qualcomm Snapdragon S4 Pro processor. The only thing it doesn’t do now is brew coffee.

It is amazing how quickly we have arrived at a point where a new phone doesn’t awesomely shock us anymore. The specs are converging, the laws of hand-held mechanics are getting to a point of breach.

Can someone remember when people drool over PC config (memory, hard disk, sound)? Those times have gone – nobody cares. Nobody ever comes around to check out the sexy new laptop you slugging around. Even the tablet life is reaching that point.

So, I guess by the time Galaxy reaches the S6, it wouldn’t make news anymore. unless maybe it could make coffee but then every Chinese knockoff would be making coffee too.

Nigeria has 17M Internet Users, More or Less

Some people have been throwing some fantastical numbers about Nigeria having 43 million internet users.

I really don’t know who cooked up this ultra-sloppy data but no wonder the over-creamed salad of consultancy advices smell like rancid skimmed milk.
If Nigeria has 43 million internet users then I probably have a pink elephant, with wings, prancing around my backyard.

So how many do we have? Judging from MTN’s latest financials (2012), they have 3.8 million smart devices (those that can consume internet without choking up – actually MTN is so parsimonious that not even a 12K US Robotics modem can choke on it) and 201,000 dongles. That comes to 4M internet devices (many being fondle-slabs). Since MTN has 47.5% market ownership, we can extrapolate 8.42M internet devices. If we are optimistic, can we argue that 2 people use a device (Nobody shares my phone with me though). Maybe 17M users. Far cry from 43M.

Why this 43M magical number is apparently not wrong to smart pant consultants baffles me.

Some people are smart, but is Airtel?

No one had a gripe about NCC laying down the rule that no SMS sent in Nigeria should be more than N4. Who would be angry with such, maybe some banks and of course the Telcos who love to do nothing but rape the living daylight out of our wallets?

Of course, Airtel, ever eager to comply, sent us SMS that we shall now, henceforth be consuming bowls after bowls of SMS at N4 per serving.
But to my amazement, Airtel to Airtel SMS cost N5. At first, I felt I was seeing double (I see double with my left eye – searching for a replacement) but I wasn’t.

Whosoever made that config or decision needs a ride to someplace near Tejuosho market.

Online Payment Sucks

Despite the government’s push for a cashless society, major retailers like DSTV and telcos lack integrated payment options. Swift Wireless excels, showing the need for smarter solutions from industry leaders.

Why isn’t the cashlite breeze blowing over to some of the major retail forces in the industry? I mean the government has stoked the cashless fire but I don’t know if guys over at DSTV are wearing fire-retardant pants or what not.

Ok. This is a gripe but then someone’s got to listen to me.
The other day I wanted to pay for my cable TV and still had to do it over QuickTeller. Given, those dudes have done some job, though it feels pre-historic at times but the gripe is why I have to go over to QuickTeller when I should be able to pay for this right inside my DSTV account? Why hasn’t DSTV integrated payment into their own website and make the customer experience sticky? Maybe this is a jamb question, which I would never know. Last I checked, I did mine eons ago.

Same for MTN and the other clueless telcos, you can’t buy airtime on their websites. They don’t have any mobile app. You can’t type in your card number and get some chatty airtime added as extra-life to your phone to harass some poor souls at the other end of the virtual wire.

Reality is sometimes big society change will only happen when some prime movers get moving. Time CBN and the big ole’ banks work on initiatives that can make impact on the market.

Sorry I forgot, someone got it right. Swift Wireless. Even when your internet subscription is up in flames and you can’t see any cat videos or lulz on the web, the payment gateways still work. Someone apparently thinks in that place but it seems they patented intelligence and MTN and folks wouldn’t pay licensing fee.