Category: General

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Can I watch that please?

Online check-ins revolutionized air travel by letting you choose seats and meals. But why can’t we pick any movie for in-flight entertainment? Personalizing flights further would be amazing!

A gazillion year ago, you had to bribe the snotty girl at the counter to put you on a good seat. If you are snotty as she is, then you are out of luck. Trust me; you will end up sandwiched between two guys who could stink a hog into submission without any trace of metabolic conversion gene in their DNA streams.

Then some folks invented online check in. Now you could choose your seat. Then you could choose your meal. Ok, Delta invented paying to move your seat nearer the front of the plane and additional patent covered getting on the plane ahead of others.

Oh, you can even make calls on some flights now but at $5 a minute, it would probably be you saying your last good bye. Because if you were going to pay for that, how long could you talk? Poor man talk.

The screens on the popular sides are getting bigger so the movies are easier on the eyes. Sound is still poor though. Like some dinosaur gasping for last breathe.

So if I could choose my seat, select my chow, why can’t I just select all the crazy movies I want to watch on a flight? Maybe porn won’t be allowed but someone should be able to get Basic Instincts in between the list. I could select my magazine too or maybe my music selection. Can I tear off the screen and read/watch off my laps?

Saddest story ever

Akpos and his two friends went to China for vacation. Since they were new at the place, they had to stay in a hotel. They ended up being on the 60th floor. The policy of the hotel was that, at midnight, the elevator is shut down.

The next day, they rented a car and explored the city. They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the hotel pass midnight. The elevators had been shut down. There was no other way to get to their room than to take the stairs all the way to the 60th floor.

The first friend said, for the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going. Pointing to the second friend) you’ll say wise stories for the next 20 floors, and (pointing to Akpos) you will cover the final 20 floors with sad stories.

They started telling jokes. With lots of laugh and joy, they reached the 20th floor.

The second friend started telling stories full of wisdom. They had learnt a lot on reaching the 40th floor.

Now it was time for sad stories. Akpos said; my first sad story is that I forgot the key to the room in the car.

Posted while on the move

Rain Guage

Akpos’ fiancee invited him over for dinner in her house, so that he could meet her parents.
While they were eating, it started raining heavily. The girl’s mother said: “Akpos, I think you should sleep over here because this rain shows no sign of stopping anytime soon”

After eating, the mom went to the toilet and the father went to sleep while the girl went to the kitchen to clean the plates, when the girl and the mother returned, Akpos was no longer there.
As they were busy wondering where he was, he came back really soaking wet.

Mother: “Where were you and why are you so wet?”

Akpos: “I went home to get my pyjamas”

Posted while on the move

Mixing Omo with Klin

Akpor asks teacher: Excuse me ma, if you mix Omo and Klin, will there be foam?

Teacher responds: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid question at the beginning of the year, are you going to pass this class at all?

Akpor laughs and whisper to the other kids, such a dumb teacher, how can you get foam without adding water, are we going to know anything at all with dis teacher?

Posted while on the move