Category: General

Read about Adedeji’s take on technology, payments, financial inclusion, career, and credit.

Hacking your way into the company of gods

Lucy was a thoroughly shitty movie. It was so bad I was physically restrained at the cinemas from crawling into the screen and giving everyone an uppercut; not even Scarlett Johansson could distract me.

Ok, that wasn’t possible but my-my, I wish I could.

The deeper narrative wasn’t lost on me, though – humanity has forever daydreamed about making itself better, go above the laws of physics, and just become a nuisance to the neighbors. Maybe that’s why we invented religion. That’s another story entirely.

Let’s be frank; we have tried – we have flown five times faster than the speed of a crying baby’s wail, gone to the moon and back, we have smartphones, and oh, Nigeria even dealt with Ebola! But we are still unsatisfied. We want to be gods!

Meanwhile, I sat here at my desk wondering how my dull day would end and then bumped into an interesting article at The Verge. Not the usual place the normal guys crawl, but that’s my joint.

It’s estimated that about 100,000 unlucky souls today are plumbed with electrical impulses to fight pain and depression (you could have Bovi come around to make you forget your sorry life for half the price of the surgery). However, what if we go beyond making a sad man laugh and decide to augment our mental abilities? What if a consistent set of interfaces and protocols come into play that would allow us to tweak memory, maturity, reactions, or maybe someone would be able to reverse intelligence and give some of the dull people I know a bit of smart for a try?

It is scary to think about the significance of this. At first, I was an advocate of enhancing our body with bionic parts – smart eyes that can read the news and all that sh*t and ears that could discern gist from a mile off. This is bigger; this is godliness at the photonic level!

By the way, woe betides you if your brain crashes, freezes of gets Dosed by Chinese hackers.

There is a time when I wanted tech advancement just for the sake of it, but for the first time, I’m scared out of my pink boxers and afraid of what humans could do to humanity. Let me be out of here before Putin gets this done.

Time for the long drive home; where are my car keys? Damn, I need a brain implant.

Nothing Good Lasts Forever

When I moved to the Android world the first thing I kicked off was the inglorious Samsung keyboard for Swiftkey. It felt so good.

Like everything that looks too good to be true it didn’t allow me to enjoy it too long. It started dragging my phone badly with typed messages taking seconds to appear. Sometimes as long as 5 seconds.
 
I haven’t been known for patience so I promptly kicked its butt out for something more in use but less popular. Google Keyboard.
So far its working like charm but let’s see how long that lasts before I hit the divorce courts.
 
 

Enough said

I recently bumped into this article which got me thinking: http://qz.com/254477/its-time-to-accept-this-fact-a-really-great-marriage-is-rare/

I know quite a lot of people would eagerly love to use me for target practice but then taking the risk, I could just ask – is marriage an evolutionary con that’s gonna bottom out some day?

For all we know, I could be very wrong. After all, I have been wrong about so many things.

MTN and Etisalat vs Me

I ported from MTN to Etisalat about a month ago. That isn’t news.

I’m naturally a loyal person – I could have broken a few hearts but it’s nothing personal just business. After all I have been using same drycleaner all my professional life and the thought of dumping them, even when I moved to the other side of town, is painful.

But MTN had it coming – the data service doesn’t work well. Voice is trashy; and then they started stealing my money. It got so bad they could have done better if they robbed me at gunpoint in daylight or nighttime depending on what’s convenient, not for me, but for them.

So on a bright Saturday afternoon, my daughter playing the dutiful sidekick, we marched down to Etisalat and got the freaking phone ported.

It felt good.
Only for a while.

You see, Etisalat works but they are darn expensive. How I managed to go through double what I used to pay monthly at MTN (less the robbery) still baffles me. Also the data varnishes so fast I turned my phone bottom up to see if it’s leaking data. At least that should have formed a puddle, somewhere.

I don’t know what I’m going to do, an evil thought is forming though. I could get a dual SIM phone and use an Etisalat for the data and MTN for the voice but the thought of porting back isn’t pleasant. You see, I have some little imps working in my office who are going to jeer on toadstools if I dare port back to MTN. I’m sure those guys are getting paid to make my life miserable. That’s an aside.

Life is a Soccer Game – Not Over Until the Whistle Blows

Two events over the last few weeks have reinforced one thing for me – it is not over until it’s over.

First Event
The 2014 Champions League Final at Lisbon had two teams from Madrid. It couldn’t have been better for any city – head or tail you win. Athletico Madrid was the underdog and had everyone rooting for them (why do people always root for the underdog?). Game on! They had a lead up till the very last moment then they cracked and Real Madrid scored. Game went to extra time where Athletic got the spanking of their lives.

Second Event
USA vs Portugal at the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. It is another underdog versus a mid-size dog. It is amazing how the USA could be called an underdog with a straight face; it isn’t often that you have them right under. First they conceded then they matched up and then lead the game. 30 seconds to go, a crack appeared somewhere and Portugal scored.

Lesson Learned
Lessons from these events for me? You hold on till the referee or life blows the final whistle because a moment of laxity can undo everything. Just like running against an escalator – it doesn’t make any difference how long you ran, once you stop, you go back to square one. In fact you could be worse off since you already expended some energy.